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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29396754">Lost Control</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHateMyGT/pseuds/IHateMyGT'>IHateMyGT</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Legacies (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drug Use, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Character Death, Multi, Other, References to Depression</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:14:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>31,841</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29396754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHateMyGT/pseuds/IHateMyGT</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Josie discovers her classmate (Hope) has succumb to drug use after Klaus (Hope's father) and Caroline (Josie's mother) died in a tragic car accident in New Orleans 7 months ago. Is there a chance Josie can get her clean? Find out the truth to the rumors around Salvatore Boarding School?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman, Landon Kirby &amp; Hope Mikaelson, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>225</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Demons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's been a long and dark 7 months since the accident happened in New Orleans. Everyone is still trying to fit the pieces of recovery back together. How could something so tragic happen to a sweet innocent person? How could she go see that monster? Did he cause the so called accident? Questions everyone around New Orleans and Mystic Falls threw around. </p><p>The deceased woman's twin daughters handled everything pretty well. Getting support from friends and teachers around school. Their father, Alaric, brought in his therapist girlfriend to help with his daughters loss. Lizzie and Josie handled it in their own two very different ways. The blonde one focused on therapy and boys, while the brunette focused on school and her girlfriend. </p><p>3 months in after their mother passed, the two moved on with their lives. Recovery was quick for the two, considering they didn't know their mother too well. Caroline wasn't around much, always traveling with her boyfriend, helping the homeless, recruiting new "at risk" kids and teens to Salvatore Boarding School. </p><p>Josie understood her mother's missions, she never held it against her. Lizzie on the other hand didn't quite understand. Her anxiety and self-worth spiraled when her mom would leave for months on end when she was a kid. Josie was always there for Lizzie when Caroline left the two, Lizzie learned after 10 years that it's ok to be hurt. That hurt helped them move on from their mother's "abandonment". </p><p>Alaric was always too busy to keep close tabs on his girls. Her trusted they were responsible enough to be independent at just 16. Yes he still checks up on them time to time, now more than ever since Caroline's death. </p><p>--- </p><p>"JoJo" Josie is awoken to the sound of a sweet voice and a gentle hand stroking her hair back. The brunette stirs awake, trying to focus on the half naked figure laying next to her. </p><p>Josie smiles big and wide when her foggy eyes focus more clearly. "Hey", her voice comes out raspy. </p><p>"Sleeping beauty is finally awake." Penelope says softly. "It's 7am, you need to get ready for school." The raven haired girl then jumps out of bed, throws on her clothes from last night. She kisses her girlfriends forehead before sliding out the bedroom door. </p><p>Josie assumes she left to go back to her room before Lizzie pops in. The sleepy girl rolls over and grabs her phone. </p><p>7:04am </p><p>Yep, definitely should at least get up and dressed before Lizzie comes back from her boy toy's room. Josie gets up, grabs her toiletry bag, towel, and slippers and walks down the hall to the showers. </p><p>School doesn't start till 8:30, only a few early birds like Josie are using the showers, which means longer and hotter showers are an option. Josie quietly walks into the shower room, glancing around trying to see if anyone is in here. Nope. She didn't see anyone. She strips down naked at the lockers, she doesn't bother covering herself with a towel, 'who'd be here this early in the morning?' She thought. </p><p>Turning the corner from the lockers to the showers, she stops in her tracks when she sees a short girl at the sinks. She hides behind the wall to look get a closer look at the girl. After spotting out the girls auburn hair, she instantly realized it was Hope Mikaelson. </p><p>Josie watches her intensely. She heard the rumors around school the past 5 months about how Hope was getting into trouble. Josie never bothered to listen to details. Her girlfriend, Penelope, always talked about drama with her and their friends, Josie learned to tune them out. Never has she been one for rumors and drama. Until now. </p><p>Josie noticed Hope hasn't been around much since the accident. Guilt creeps up her spine as she watches Hope take a small baggie out of her sweat pants pocket. Her eyes went wide as she saw the auburn haired girl empty out the substance from the bag onto the countertop. Watching as she crushes up the little blue pill with her hand. Watching her use her pinky nail to scoop up some powder and snort. </p><p>Why has nobody gotten her help? How long has she been doing this? Is this why she hasn't been to classes? Questions swarm Josie's brain. </p><p>Hope finishes up her task and cleans up the residue from her nose and the counter. She rests her hands on top of the counter and stares into the mirror. "217 days." She slurs into her reflection. Pushing herself off the counter and exits the bathroom. </p><p>Josie is stunned. She just watched her classmate do something that she can't even wrap her head around. She jumps into the shower trying to wash that dirty feeling she has. "I should have done something. Should I say something?" She speaks outloud to herself in the shower. </p><p>--- </p><p>At lunch Josie sits with her friends and sister. Kaleb, MG, Penelope, Jed, Rafael and Landon are all goofing off and having a good time. Lizzie is all cozzied up with Raf. MG, Kaleb and Landon bickering back and forth. Josie is too preoccupied to listen in on Penelope yelling at the rowdy boys when she spots Hope walk into the cafeteria. </p><p>She jumps up from her seat at the table, doesn't excuse herself as she hurrily walks towards Hope. </p><p>"Hey." Josie says, her voice soft and low, pained. Hope looks up, confused and disoriented. Josie makes a mental note, clearly she's still high. Hope doesn't make eye contact with the taller girl, instead she locks eyes with Landon. Josie follows her eyes and sees who they landed on. "Hope?" She asks, getting Hope's attention. </p><p>Hope looks up at the younger brunette. Confused as to why she's talking to her now after everything. "What, Saltzman." She bites towards the girl. </p><p>Josie takes a step back, starting to regret approaching her to begin with. "I saw you i-in the bathrooms this morning." She stutters, trying to keep calm and composed. Anxiety and fear running through her veins in this moment. </p><p>Hope averts her eyes from Josie, looks back at Landon, she does a head tilt, signaling the mop head boy. Josie is confused and now irritated as Hope walks away, ignoring her statement. It's like she doesn't even care. </p><p>Josie stays right were she is as she spots Landon walking past her straight into where she saw Hope leave to. She wants to eavesdrop on the two but decides against it and returns to her group of friends. </p><p>"Why'd you go up to Mikaelson?" Penelope asks. Concerned. Josie just shakes her head, ignoring everyone's glares. </p><p>"What's the deal with her and Landon?" Josie spurts out. Pretending the previous question wasn't asked. </p><p>Rafael gives Lizzie a worrying look, Lizzie nods to him, like she's giving him permission to speak. "Landon he, uh, he's friends with Hope." He gets out, sounding like he was choking on finding the right words to say. </p><p>"What does that mean?" Josie questions. </p><p>Lizzie scoffs. "It means he's her dealer, Josie." So much attitude and annoyance in one sentence. </p><p>Something clicks in Josie's head. 'Landon is an orphan, brought in with Rafael by her mom and Hope's dad last year, "at risk" youth.' She remembers what the two boys told her and her sister when they met, "we had done some not so favorable things to survive." Now her sweet innocent mind understands what Rafael meant with that sentence. </p><p>"You aren't apart of this are you?" Josie practically yells at Raf. Earning shocked facial expressions from everyone. </p><p>"Josie, babe, calm down. Why do you care so much about that inbred fuck up all of a sudden?" Penelope asks. </p><p>"Yeah, Jo, do you not remember her messed up dad got mom killed? Or did you just forget about that too?" Lizzie snaps. </p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry, but do you not realize she lost her father? Or are you too self centered?" Josie retorts back at her twin. </p><p>Before Lizzie or anyone else can jump into the so called "conversation". Landon returns. He hands Raf a small roll of cash. "Another day, another dime." He oddly jokes. Josie sees neither of them are ok with what's going on. </p><p>Josie storms off from her friends table and heads to the hallway. Once she enters, she sees Hope heading towards the front doors. She runs to catch up the the older girl. </p><p>"Hope. Please!" She practically begs. </p><p>Hope stops and turns to face the girl. "Look, Josie," the name spoken came out like venom, "I don't need to hear it from you too. Everyone hates me for what happened, so leave me alone would you?" She starts to walk away when she's stopped by a grip on her wrist. </p><p>"217 days ago my mom and your dad got into a terrible car accident. My mom died on site, your dad didn't make it to the hospital. I heard you say the number in the bathroom. You're hurting. I get-" shes cut off. </p><p>"You get it?" Hope laughs, "you didn't have to find out about the accident in homeroom, people telling me my dad killed your mom. How could you get it?" Hope snaps. Pain and anger pouring out. </p><p>Josie wants to cry. She can't imaging the heartbreak Hope has gone through. What she's still dealing with. She gathers her thoughts and speaks up, "you're right. I don't get it. I can't imagine what your going through." </p><p>"Leave me alone, Saltzman." Hope sternly demands, walking out of the front doors. </p><p>Tears start rolling down Josie's face. Hope doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve any of it. Only thing anyone can do is help her. 'I have to help her. She's going to get herself hurt, or worse, if no one steps in.' Josie thinks to herself. The bell rings indicating lunch is over. Josie sighs in relief, not having to answer her friends looks and acusing questions. </p><p>The day drags on, her mind preoccupied with Hope. The events she saw unfold in the bathroom haunts her, pains her to see Hope going down that route. Pains her to find out her friend is the one feeding into it. How can she fix this? Is it something that can be fixed?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Used to Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days pass by. Josie has distanced herself from her group. Finding out Landon and Rafael are basically drug dealers is mind boggling to Josie. </p><p>"JoJo?" Penelope interrupts, "you ok?" She asks. </p><p>Josie doesn't look her girlfriends way. They're supposed to be doing homework, but Josie hasn't been able to focus at all this week. </p><p>"Ok." Penelope says, annoyance in her voice. She shuts her textbook as loud as she can to spark any kind of reaction from the brunette. Nothing. "Seriously what's going on? Are you still moping about Landon? You can't be serious." </p><p>Josie shakes her head. "How can you support that? You know how many people overdose each year? How many people don't have a choice in the effects of long term addiction?" She looks Penelope dead in the eye. </p><p>Penelope scoffs, "who cares? They make their own choices Jo. Hope happens to be one of those." </p><p>"How could you say that?" Josie's eyes widen, anger seeping through. "You don't understand what she's going through. How can you be that heartless?" She realizes seconds later that what she said, hit too deep. "I'm sorry." She reaches for her girlfriends hand. Penelope pulls her hand away once she noticed what Josie was doing. </p><p>Penelope sighs as she gets up off Josie's bed. "Lizzie will be back soon, I should go." Clearly upset, she packs her things and walks to the door. "Bye JoJo." She gives her a small smile and exits the room, no kiss, just a hurt smile. </p><p>An hour later Lizzie returns from her "study session" as she calls it. "Hey Jo!" She says cheerfully, making her way to her bed beside Josie's "Did Penelope leave already?" She questions, looking around the room as she asked. </p><p>Lizzie spots out Josie's lack of speech and the pouty look on her face. She doesn't say another word, knowing where this is going. The blonde decides to get ready for bed. As she wraps herself under comforter, Josie speaks.<br/>"Whose room were you in this time?" Josie asks, not meaning to sound judgement. </p><p>Lizzie rolls over to face her sisters bed. "MG." Josie shoots her a shocked yet happy smile. Lizzie picks up on how her twin took it. "Oh gross, no! We were planning the party tomorrow night. It's Friday so we decided to throw a party out in the woods. You should come, ease up a little bit, you've been tense." </p><p>Josie thinks for a moment, scooting her homework off her bed so she can get under her covers. "Yea,  I could use a mental break for a night. Thanks Lizzie, goodnight." She reaches over to her nightstand and turns off her lamp. </p><p>"Night Josie." </p><p>--- </p><p>Hope wakes up early that morning, 6am. She hasn't gotten much sleep these past few months. Once her body got used to the pills she hasn't been passing out. Her motivation to get up out of her safe bed is the pills in her pants pocket across the room. Every morning, evening, and night she drags on, she hates herself. Questioning everything now. Her aunts and uncles haven't called or texted since the funeral. She never had many friends here at school, but one of the two people who she thought had potential to be her friends stopped associating themselves with her since her dad died. </p><p>The young woman undstands why Josie stopped talking to her, she doesn't blame her. Hope blames herself for what happened, too. All she has now is Landon, and that relationship has changed drastically. </p><p>Losing her dad hurt her more than losing her mom. Her mom died 3 years ago, Melanoma took her. Now she lost her dad. 17 years old, and orphaned. Her family hasn't returned her calls or texts. Not even her aunt Freya or  uncle Elijah. Which to her makes no sense. </p><p>Everything from the accident, to the forced isolation by her peers, to skipping classes, to buying Motrin, moving on to harder forms of pain medication.  So much has changed in less than a year.<br/>She finally gets up out of bed, going straight to her dresser. Opening her middle drawer, pulling out her worn out jeans, she digs around her pockets for the little plastic baggie she bought from Landon the night prior. Once she gets the bag, she dumps a few on her dresser. Not caring about waking anyone up, she smashes a book on the pills, breaking the two pills in smaller pieces. She proceeded to crush them up into a fine powder with a bookmark. </p><p>Before she has the chance to do what she was itching to do, someone knocks on her door. Hope, now annoyed, walks to her door, swinging it open aggressively as she rudely asks, "What!" </p><p>It's Penelope. Penelope shoots Hope a dirty look. "Morning to you too, Mikaelson." She leans against hopes doorframe, "whatever you are doing, you need to not do it infront of Josie anymore." Penelope firmly states. </p><p>Hope's demeanor doesn't change. She shakes her head in disbelief. "Whatever Josie sees me doing, that's on her, alright?" </p><p>"Considering you two disgustingly almost became friends once, you should care more about the people around you. Especially if you're doing something you shouldn't. Do what you want Hope, send yourself to an early grave, I don't care. I do care that Josie happened to see what you've gotten involved in. I don't like seeing her hurt. So, just don't ok?" Penelope finishes her rant, and walks away, not wanting to hear what the other girl has to say. </p><p>Hope closes her door a few seconds later. Something connects in her head. 'The bathroom.' She thinks. Of course the one time she uses in the bathroom someone was in there. Of course it was Josie. That must be why Josie approached her a few days ago, mentioning the bathroom. </p><p>She knows she should feel guilty about Josie seeing her, but she doesn't. No feelings, just sadness. Something is seriously wrong with Hope. </p><p>She returns to her dresser, snorting up half the powder and brushes the rest into a separate baggie where she had previously been storing her crushed up pills. Her first hit was in for the start of her day, enough to wake her up for a few minutes, maybe an hour. </p><p>--- </p><p>Landon is late to lunch. Made a run into town to his suppliers goonies. Lizzie asked him if he could get some weed, maybe Molly or Coke if he could for the party tonight. He did just that, got 50 grams of weed, and 10 cheap Molly pills. His supplier didn't feel the cocaine would be nessacary. </p><p>The mopheaded boy returns to school right as the bell rang, signaling lunch is over. He catches Lizzie in the hall on her way to class. "I got what you asked for." He opened his backpack, showing her the contents in the bag. </p><p>"Good, thank you Kirby." She smiles at him politely. "I got to go to class, Frodo. See you at the party!" She hurries off to class. </p><p>Landon decides to skip the rest of his classes today. Got some extra homework and sorting to do defore the party tonight.  He heads to his and Rafael's room, walking in he spots Raf sitting at his desk. </p><p>"Hey, Lan!" Raf says, always happy to see his brother. "Got the..." he trails off, pointing to the bag right as Landon closes the door behind him. </p><p>"Uh, yea I did." He half smiles in a goofy way. "Keep going the way we are and we'll be outta here by summer." </p><p>Rafael looks down at his hands, "I think we should stay, maybe graduate. We have it good here Lan!" He stands up. </p><p>Landon shoots him a confused look. "What?" He asks. </p><p>"No, think about it! We stay, make it to graduation, then we skip town?" The darker boy questions his own statement. </p><p>Landon stands there, hugging his backpack. "Are you happy here?" </p><p>Without a second thought, "happier than I have ever been bro." He shoots his brother a sincere smile. </p><p>"Ok, we stay, but I can't stop what I'm doing. Longer I'm here the deeper I get, you know that right?" Landon's voice cracks, getting a bit shaky with each word. </p><p>"Just stay with the smaller things and you'll be ok, right? That's what he said, did he not?" </p><p>"Yea, no, yea, he did but if im selling like I am then, he wants me to go bigger." He can't stop the shakiness in his voice now. "But well stay, you're happy. I'm happy. Brother right?" He smiles again, putting his hand into a fist, rising it towards his brother's direction. </p><p>"Hell yea man." Raf smiles back, fist bumping his brother, then pulling him into a tight hug. "I love you man, you know that?" </p><p>Landon can't speak. He taps on Raf's arm hinting he needs to be released. Rafael releases him seconds after the taps. "Alright, so Lizzie and MG are throwing that party tonight right?" The two go to their separate spots in their room, discussing their situation in more depth, talking about school, their friends. Raf learning Hope is a soft spot for Landon. </p><p>"Why do you have a weird friendship with her anyways?" Raf asks. </p><p>"We were sorta friends when I went to Mystic Falls High, before her mom died. Her mom and uncle were looking at enrolling her here, and before I skipped town, her and I became friends in a way I guess." </p><p>"If you care about her Lan, why sell to her?" Landon freezes up at Rafael's question. He doesn't know the answer to that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for all the kudos and comments! I appreciate yall. I'm going to try to update weekly, but I can't make promises, but I will try to!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hate Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lizzie and Josie show up to the Old Mill out in the woods. Most of the school has shown up. Here the twins thought they arrived early. They two go over to the keg, Josie grabbing two red solo cups, filling them both up with cheap beer, and hands one over to her sister.</p>
<p>Josie watches as her sister chugs half the cup. “Jesus, thirsty much?” She asks, glaring at the blonde, earning a displeasing look from her twin. She throws her hands up in defeat. “Ok then.” Lizzie then finishes her cup, throwing her cup in the garbage can next the table by the keg.</p>
<p>"I need something stronger." The taller twin states. She heads towards the liquor table, with Josie following close behind with her eyes on her own shoes. As the two approach the table, Josie's heart drops when she finally looks up.</p>
<p>"Hope." The brunette whispers to herself. 'She shouldn't be here' she thinks to herself. Accidently, the older girl makes eye contact with her. Josie's heart begins to race, her anxiety increasing at an alarming rate. "What are you doing here?" Worry in her tone.</p>
<p>Hope tilts her head and raises an eyebrow, "Why not? It's a party, last time I checked, I can party with my classmates." She bites towards Josie.</p>
<p>Lizzie looks at Josie and Hope's glares, "as fun as drama is," she grabs a half empty bottle of vodka and her sisters three quarter full cup, "I don't want to be involved with Hope drama." She bumps Hope's shoulder on her way into the Mill, causing the girl to move out of her way.</p>
<p>"Where's your evil witch of a girlfriend at?" Hope retorts, raising and eyebrow at the girl again. She chose not to let Lizzie get under her skin, she doesn't have the energy to deal with her tonight.</p>
<p>She thinks for a second, confused as to why Hope would refer to Penelope as an evil witch. Why would she care if Penelope was here anyways? The two don't particularly like each other. Where is her girlfriend? "I-" as she starts, Hope interrupts.</p>
<p>"Ah, speak of the Devil, there she is." Giving the raven haired girl a dirty look. Their conversation from earlier is still fresh in Hope's mind. "Here to lecture me again or are you going to mind your own business?"</p>
<p>Penelope glares at her as she reaches over to grasp Josie's jaw and pulls her in for a deep kiss on the lips. Stunned, Josie pulls back, eyes darting from her girlfriend to Hope. "The hell was that for?" She questions, wanting to know the reason for the PDA.</p>
<p>"What? A girl can't give her girlfriend a kiss now?" Penelope addresses. She looks back at Hope. "I just want to make things clear." Smirking as she spoke.</p>
<p>Josie gives her and Hope a confused look. "Ok? What the hell is going on between you two now?" She asks as she folds her arms. This night keeps getting more and more confusing and annoying by the minute.</p>
<p>"Oh she didn't tell you? I thought you sent her earlier?" Hope is more aggravated than usual. Even though there is no 'usual' Hope anymore.</p>
<p>Shooting her girlfriend an angry glare. "You did what?" Her voice was low. Trying to hide some anger and embarrassment.</p>
<p>Penelope sighs, "You have been weird since you saw Hope snort whatever she was snorting in the bath-"</p>
<p>"Josie doesn't know what she thinks she saw." Hope throws in, not letting the girl finish, earning a dirty look from the pair.</p>
<p>"I know what I saw Hope." Josie's voice is softer now. Hope claims hurts her. She knows what she saw, clear as day.</p>
<p>Hope shakes her head with a frown, reaching for a bottle of tequila. "You two have a fun night." She storms off with the bottle.</p>
<p>Josie wants to go after her, but knows Penelope will stop her. She turns to face the girl, "why would you confront her?" She yells, drawing attention from some students close by.</p>
<p>The girl in question looks around at the people now staring at them, "I did it for you, now keep your voice down."</p>
<p>Josie scoffs, "you need to mind your own business."</p>
<p>"Why don't you mind yours? Why do you care about what Hope does? Her dad is the reason your mom is dead Jo!" She argues back.</p>
<p>Taken aback by the statement. Hope's dad killed her mom, that's what everyone is saying at least. They still don't know the full extent to what happened in New Orleans. There are still so many questions Josie wants to ask her father but knows he won't give her a straight answer.</p>
<p>"We don't know what happened." Josie defends.</p>
<p>"Like hell we don't! Hope's dad was an aggressive, manipulative, controlling asshole Jo!" She takes a deep breath before she continues, "He was behind the wheel JoJo." Her voice is calm and soothing.</p>
<p>Josie stands there, stunned. She knows he was behind the wheel, still doesn't mean he was responsible for the death. She shakes her head. "No." Tears start building up.</p>
<p>Penelope's heart aches at the sight. "Jo," She makes a move to hug her, but Josie steps back, putting a hand up towards her girlfriend. "Jo come on! Don't fall for her pity party!" Penelope grows more impatient. "It's been almost a year, you moved on! Don't dwell on it more!"</p>
<p>"Don't dwell on it? Hope has been cast out by the entire school! 7 months of bullying and accusations towards her!" Josie snaps.</p>
<p>"Oh my God, who cares!" Penelope flops her arms up into the air then back down to her side.</p>
<p>"I care!" Josie cries out, tears that were building now flows down her face. "She's hurting too! She has nobody."</p>
<p>The girl stays quiet. Watches as her girlfriend cries over another girl for a minute or two. Josie wipes her face with her arm, the cold night air freezing here tears. She turns to walk in the opposite direction, towards dark woods. Penelope lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she lets the girl go and cool off.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Josie wanders. She hasn't explored the woods much. She knows some key areas that people have shown her, but this look way too unfamiliar. After 15 minutes of wandering, she spots a clearing in the woods. It's pretty dark, but she thinks she sees a figure laying down in the dirt and dead leaves that have blown off tree branches.</p>
<p>"Hello?" She cautiously speaks into the clearing, slowly approaching the figure. She hears someone grumble. Ok so they're annoyed she's there, clearly this is safe, not. She stops moving, body freezing in fear.</p>
<p>"Why won't you leave me alone, Saltzman." A familiar voice asks, raspy and tired.</p>
<p>"Hope?" Josie asks, almost certain she knows that voice but still feels the need to ask if it was the girl she assumes is. "Why are you laying down out here? It's getting cold." She then wraps herself up in her arms, trying to get a little bit of relief. "Hope?" Asking again, still no response.</p>
<p>The girl grumbles once again, sitting up, showing her face as Josie approaches her. Josie calms down a bit, knowing it's just Hope. She flops down next to Hope, laying flat on her back staring up at the stars. Hope lays back down, she too looks up, but not at the stars.</p>
<p>Hope found that being high or drunk and looking at the stars messed with her head more than she liked. Finding comfort in looking at the tops of the trees. There's something comforting about staring at something she understands and knows. Staring at stars leads to questions she can't find answers to. She hates not getting clear answers.</p>
<p>"My dad used to bring me here when he came to visit me at school." Hope's drunk and emotional.</p>
<p>Josie rolls over onto her side, now facing Hope. "My mom used to bring me to this little shed in the woods, it's old and creepy, but it's charming." Josie smiles at the memories.</p>
<p>Hope tenses at the comment about Caroline. "I'm sorry." She says, voice calm as can be.</p>
<p>"Don't be." Josie comments.</p>
<p>Hope takes a deep breath and she too rolls onto her side to face the girl. "Why shouldn't I be?" Warmth from her breath graces Josie.</p>
<p>Joise relishes in the warmth for the seconds it lasts, why is it so cold out here? She tries to gather her words to respond. "It's not your fault." Is all Josie could think of, she mentally slaps herself.</p>
<p>"You should be mad at me too. I mean, you probably wouldn't even talk to me if you didn't see me the other day." She stumbles on her words.</p>
<p>The younger girl spots the slipping of words and the lingering scent of tequila on the girl's breath. "That's not true." She rests her head up on the palm of her hand, giving her a better view of Hope's expression. "I know I should have talked to you more after-" She trails off. It's still a sensitive topic to Hope.</p>
<p>"Since my dad killed your mom?" Hope speaks up, no emotion on her face or in her words.</p>
<p>"Everyone is telling me that! I don't think he did!" Josie snaps. "I'm so tired of people putting the blame on your dad! No good is coming out of that. It's hurting you and your family."</p>
<p>Hope rolls over onto her back again, bringing her arms to rest on her abdomen, "you don't really believe that."</p>
<p>"Look, Hope, I'm sorry for everything that's going on, I'm sorry." Josie starts to tear up again. 'why am I so emotional!' she thinks.</p>
<p>Hope sits up, "I need to go." She stumbles up off the hard surface.</p>
<p>Josie gets up as fast as she can to follow Hope. "Wait!" She hurries over to Hope, who is still walking away, or as Josie sees, wobbling away. Somehow she manages to grab the girls arm, turning her to face her. "You don't need to deal with this alone." She knows there's a heaviness in the air, knows she's not being clear about what she means.</p>
<p>"Deal with what, huh Josie?" She's getting angry now. "I've dealt with it alright!" She yells at the girl, "I'm dealing with it." Whispering to herself now.</p>
<p>The two girls know Hope isn't being honest. Hope knows she isn't ok, Josie knows that too. Before Josie can question on, she hears her friends calling for her in the distance. The calling gets louder by the second.</p>
<p>"She's right here." Hope hollers out, giving away their location. She shoots Josie a look, Josie can't make out what Hope is feeling.</p>
<p>"Josie!" MG rushes up and pulls her into a hug, "We thought you got snatched by Bigfoot!" He exclaims, causing her group of friends to laugh at his comment. "What?" He asks.</p>
<p>"Bigfoot doesn't exist." Rafael laughs out.</p>
<p>"Like hell he doesn't! You know how many sightings there have been?" MG pushes, letting Josie go from the brotherly hug.</p>
<p>Joise looks over her shoulder to see Hope and Penelope "talking" a few feet away. Looks like they're more or less fighting rather than talking. She makes a maneuver around her friend, trying to make her way to Penelope. She's stopped by her sister.</p>
<p>"Don't." Lizzie's eyes feel like daggers on Josie's. Josie puts up a fight. "Seriously? Do I need Raf to come carry your drunk ass home?" Lizzie asks.</p>
<p>Josie sarcastically laughs, "that's a joke right? You're the drunk one here!" She pushes her sister's hand off her chest, making a determined beline to Penelope and Hope.</p>
<p>The instant she gets to the two, Hope throws a strong punch at Penelope's face. She storms off after her fist collides with the girls cheekbone.</p>
<p>"What the hell!" Penelope roars towards Hope, who is almost out of sight. Josie scrambles to comfort her girlfriend, getting a close look at the red spot on the cheek, which is swelling quickly.</p>
<p>"Let's get you home." Josie squawks out. She feels guilty as hell.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm going to try to crunch out a few chapters these next few days. I'm hella motivated and have a few ideas written down ready to be formed. Hope yall enjoy!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Damaged</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie successfully gets Penelope to her room. Somehow, Penelope got lucky getting her own room. She sets her down on her bed. "I'll be right back ok? I'm going to go get you some ice ok?" Panic sets in Josie. Her stomach is turning with anxiety. She knows she should be mad at Hope for punching Penelope, but she isn't.</p><p>Penelope doesn't respond. She strips down to her underwear, unclasps her bra and throws it on the floor next to her. Josie watches, she gives her girlfriend a soft sad smile as she exits the room. She calmly goes down to the infirmary. Luckily, no-one stayed late tonight, no nurses to be seen. Josie collects a few items, an ice pack, a bottle of Pedialyte, and some over the counter Benadryl.</p><p>Josie scurries off to Penelope's room. She quietly enters the room. "I got you something to drink and some meds." She hears Penelope scoff.</p><p>"You trying to make me an addict like Hope now too?" Penelope knows that was a cheap shot, but she doesn't care.</p><p>Josie chooses to ignore that, she knows she's upset. She moves over to the nightstand and drops the items on top. "Here," she hands the injured girl the ice pack. Watching the girl place it on her severely bruised and swollen cheek, "is it broken?" Josie says as quietly as possible.</p><p>"I don't think so," she hisses, the cold burning her cheek.</p><p>"Good, now, take these, please?" Josie opens the package and pops a pink and blue pill out of one of the pouches. She sets the pill next to it's package as she pops the lid off of the Pedialyte. "Take them with this." Handing the pill and drink to Penelope. The girl swallow's the pill down easily with the drink. She gags' at the strong flavor.</p><p>"Why is this so gross?" She asks, face scrunched in disgust.</p><p>Josie lets out a small laugh, "I should probably water it down huh?" Small smile painted on her face.</p><p>Penelope isn't amused. "You can go now. Thank you." Her voice is cold.</p><p>Josie reluctantly leaves, she wants to ask if she could stay but she knows Penelope needs some alone time. She leaves the room without a "goodbye" or "I love you". She sulks down to her and Lizzie's room. Unfortunately, Lizzie is there.</p><p>"Penelope kicked you out? I don't blame her." Lizzie says when she sees her twin enter.</p><p>"Can we not tonight, Lizzie? You're drunk." Josie sadly speaks out, making her way to the dresser, changing into her pink dinosaur pajamas. After she's changed, she crawls into her bed, pulling the covers up to her chin.</p><p>"Whatever." Lizzie says. Josie choses once again to ignore the attitude in the short one worded statement.</p><p>---</p><p>Hope somehow managed to get herself to her room. Her knuckles are throbbing, she opts to go take a bath. She grabs her toiletry bag and heads down to the communal bathrooms. She was happy to see no-one on her way there, still worried someone will be in the bathroom. Most of the school is still at the party, she shouldn't have to worry about anything. She got lucky once again, no one is in the bathroom.</p><p>She draws herself a scalding hot bath, pouring some lavender bath salts into the tub. She strips herself of her clothes and slowly drops herself into the bath. The heat of the water soothes her aching body. The withdrawals have already started. She's starting to sober up from that bottle of tequila.</p><p>A couple minutes after soaking in the tub, she misses the feeling of substances. She hasn't used in 4 hours, she's literally itching to get a hit. After the first couple pills she found that crushing it up and snorting was a quicker way to get high. Waiting for the pills to dissolve in her stomach took too long for her liking. Snorting was a bit uncomfortable at first but after a few times, it became second nature to her.</p><p>She soaks in the tub for almost an hour, opting to get out once she sees her fingers are rubbery. Wraps herself in a towel, gathers her things, and heads to her room. She hears a few students stumble their way into the school. Party's over. One girl whispers not so quietly to her friend, "I heard that Hope decked Penelope in the face earlier, that's why she was rushed out of the party." Hope would shoot the girl a dirty look but decides against it. She looks down to her hand, the knuckles are swollen and a bright red. To be fair, her whole body is bright red from the bath, but not as prominent as her hand.</p><p>Hope manages to get to her room without anyone commenting on the events that happened. She would ask how they knew but she already knows how they found out. Josie's friends probably blabbed. She crawls into her bed after dropping her things off at the door, not caring about where they should go.</p><p>Longing at the dresser, she sees 3 pills lying there next to some remaining powder. She doesn't have the energy or motivation to get out of her bed. She spends a good amount of time staring at them, hoping they would fly across the room to her. Finally, she gets up and mosies over to her dresser. She stares into her reflection, she hates the person she sees, at the same time she loves it.</p><p>Looking into her eyes, there's a glaze over them, sleep deprived, a little drunk now, her eyes are starting to droop. Today was exhausting. This is who she is now, who she thinks she was meant to be. A fuck up who is self medicating her own depression. Quickly, she places a finger on her left nostril to block its airway, she brings her right nostril to the powder, still in a line. She sniffs it up in desperation, tilting her head back and removing her finger all in one movement. Relishing in the fuzzy feeling for that moment.</p><p>Placing her hand on her dresser and watches as her pupils dilate. She loses focus and decides to go back to her bed. A glaze starts to cover her sight, now blurry, she manages to stare at a glowing star on her ceiling. Klaus and Elijah put that star on there when she moved in when she was 12. It was a room warming gift.</p><p>"Look at this star, and remember, I'm always going to be here for you, littlest wolf." She repeats to herself softly, slurring it. She reminisces about that day quite often. Her dad always called her "littlest wolf." Never knew why, never asked. Hope always assumed it was because she loved wolves when she was a kid. Always exploring the woods hoping to find one. Getting in trouble each time for doing so.</p><p>The high draws her to close her eyes and doze off. Mixing oxycodone and alcohol always leads to her getting drowsy. She thinks she should do that more often when she drifts off to sleep.</p><p>---</p><p>Josie wakes up late Saturday morning. She's not hungover but she sure as hell feels like she is. Thankful she didn't really drink last night. She looks over her shoulder at her sister's bed. Lizzie is gone. "What the hell?" She asks herself out loud.</p><p>She shoots her sister a quick text asking her where she went. It takes a few minutes before Josie gets a notification.</p><p>'Went to Rafs room.' Blunt, cool.</p><p>Josie doesn't bother texting her back. She decides to get up and ready to go check on Penelope. She elects to dress in comfortable clothing, some fuzzy grey sweatpants and an 'Avengers' t-shirt she stole from MG. After she brushes her hair she hustles over to Penelope's room.</p><p>She knocks on the door when she gets there, not wanting to barge in. She waits a few moments, hearing some movement behind the door. Penelope opens the door. Her whole right side of the face is swollen, her eye is shut, she doesn't look too good.</p><p>"What?" Penelope snaps. "Stop staring."</p><p>Josie snaps out of it. "Just wanted to check up on you, how did you sleep?"</p><p>"Pretty good thanks to the Benadryl. Thanks for that." She offers a half smile. Josie will take it. Josie steps closer and gently places her lips on the girl's cheekbone, causing the girl's cheek twitch under her lips. Pulling back she spots a smile on that face.</p><p>"All better." Josie smiles wide at the girl.</p><p>Penelope grabs Josie's hips and pulls her flush into her, placing her lips aggressively upon Josie's. Josie's lips are soft and slightly chapped, clearly forgetting to put some Chapstick on the last night. Josie kisses her back, enjoying the feeling for a moment before she pulls back with a reluctant smile.</p><p>"We need to talk about what to do with Hope." Penelope says, stepping aside inviting Josie into her room. Josie doesn't like where this is going.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Mystic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What do you mean?" A frown comes across Josie's face. Josie refuses to make eye contact, "I won't have this conversation with you." She crosses her arms, focusing her eyes on her shoes.</p><p>Penelope walks back to her bed, bringing her knees up to her chest. "She hurt me Jo." Puppy dog eyes nearly bulging out of her head.</p><p>Josie doesn't want to fall for this trick again, but looking at the bruising on the girls face, she can't help it. "Babe, I know, but in her defense you did start it."</p><p>The darker haired girl lets out a frustrated sigh, "you're taking that junkies' side over your own girlfriend?" Penelope is irritated and hurt. She can't comprehend why her girlfriend has her mind set on helping Hope, she never cared for Hope till now.</p><p>Josie throws her arms down to her side as she steps forward towards the bed, "I'm not taking any sides." The frown feels like it's cementing itself.</p><p>"You left me at the party to go find Hope, everything has been about Hope this week. Never about me, forgive me for feeling neglected." Penelope snaps.</p><p>Josie's eyes widen, now she's truly mad. "Neglect? You can't be serious right now! I'm always there for you, yes I've been distracted recently, but don't blame Hope."</p><p>"It is because of Hope!"</p><p>The girl in question crosses her arms over her chest once again. She takes a deep breath while she tries to gather a good comeback. "What would you do if you were in her shoes?" Her voice breaks, she can't imagine what Hope's gone through.</p><p>Penelope doesn't waste anytime answering, "I would never turn to drugs for comfort, I'm not that stupid. I'm better than that, you know this."</p><p>Josie can't believe the words that came out of the girls mouth. "That wasn't the question, and you know that." The frown has turned into a pout.</p><p>"You know I lost my dad when I was 5." She surveys Josie's face for a second, "If I ever happened to be put in her shoes, I'd turn to my friends and counselors for help."</p><p>"Exactly, you have always had a support system Penelope, Hope hasn't."</p><p>"She made her own bed JoJo." She hops off her bed and walks towards Josie. Reaches for Josie's arm with one hand. Josie doesn't let her unravel her arms.</p><p>"It's not her fault! I'm so sick of everyone blaming Hope!"</p><p>"It is her fault! She could have made more of an effort."</p><p>"She did! 3 years ago she tried. When her mom died, she came to us for support, and we all failed her. For all I know, we all drove her to this, hell, we know Raf and Landon did."</p><p>Penelope is shocked, she doesn't recall Hope trying to befriend them at one point. "She did?" She softly questions, sadness creeping up in her voice.</p><p>"Yes! I would invite her to sit with us and you all cast her out, blatantly ignored her!" Josie raises her voice. Everyone is on board to blame Hope when really it's everyone's fault. From the beginning, her friends and herself all drove Hope to isolation. This time around, Landon drove her to isolation and much worse.</p><p>"I never ignored her!" Penelope defends.</p><p>Josie rubs on the crease in-between her eyebrows, "I'm not debating with you anymore." She turns to face the door when she hears Penelope shuffle over to her.</p><p>"If you walk out of that door right now, we are done." Penelope says as she reaches for Josie's hand.</p><p>Josie sighs and pulls her hand away before Penelope could touch it. She doesn't say anything, she opens the door and walks away. Leaving Penelope in shock. Last thing Josie needs right now is to fight with her girlfriend.</p><p>---</p><p>"Hey Lan?" Raf asks. Rafael is starting to regret his decisions from the night prior. He remembers bits and pieces from that night, but mainly drinking too much with Landon.</p><p>Landon groans, he too is hungover. "What?"</p><p>"Don't you need to get moving? Clarke wants to see you today doesn't he?" Raf throws an arm over his eyes, blocking out any sort of light that was triggering his sensitive eyes.</p><p>The smaller boy grunts as he gets up out of bed grudgingly. He doesn't want to get out of bed, definitely doesn't want to go see his biological brother. Landon recently discovered his father had another son. Meeting his brother was an accident, he never knew his parents too well. Only finding out who his parents were when he arrived at the school. Now learning he has an older brother who just so happens to be in town is mind blowing.</p><p>"I should be back around dinner." Landon says, throwing on the same pants from last night, but opting for a fresh shirt. "If I'm not back by then, don't wait up."</p><p>"You think Clarke will keep you for some brother time again?" Landon can sense the annoyance and jealousy in his self-proclaimed brother's voice.</p><p>"If you call that brother bonding time." That's the last thing Landon says to Raf before he steps out the door and heads off into town.</p><p>Luckily Landon didn't run into any of his friends on his way out. No one in the group has stated they don't like what he's doing, but Landon knows they don't approve. He takes the school shuttle down to the center of town. Right as he steps off the shuttle, he sees his brother already on the bench with a backpack on his lap.</p><p>Clarke looks up at his little brother, "look who finally showed up." He smiles at the younger boy approaching him.</p><p>Landon shoots him a half hearted smile, "yea sorry, I sorta slept in." Scratching the back of his head once he sits down.</p><p>"That will explain the nauseating odor coming off you right now. Did you not brush your teeth?" Clarke has a way with being dramatic, it's like he wants to be an actor or something.</p><p>Landon lets out a genuine laugh. "Yea, shit was a little intense last night."</p><p>"Oh you have to tell me! I mean, it'd be nice to get to know more about you and what you do."</p><p>This time Landon shoots his brother a real smile. He has always wanted to feel included, cared about, and having his new found blood relative have an interest in him, it strokes his self-esteem. "Really?" The words came out a little too enthusiastic.</p><p>Clarke brings one leg up onto the bench and curls it in so he could face his brother. "Yes."</p><p>"Alright, well, there was a party up at the Old Mill, me and Raf-" He is cut off.</p><p>"You should introduce us one day. I'd love to meet my brother's brother."</p><p>"Yea, maybe, anyways. So I guess one of my friends got in a fight with her girlfriend at the party and she left. Knowone knew she left, so her sister rallied all of us up-" Cut off, again. Clarke is starting to get on Landon's nerves.</p><p>"Girlfriend? As in, she's gay? Damn that's cool."</p><p>Landon is confused at that comment, but he lets it slide. "So after like 20 minutes of searching around, we found her in the woods, some weird feeling clearing." Landon stops. Giving his brother an opportunity to not interrupt this time.</p><p>"Wait, was the clearing close to the school or more deep into the trees?" He asks, seriousness lurking on his face.</p><p>"Uh, yea why?"</p><p>"A few years ago there was a massacre of sorts that happened out there. Some psychotic guy ended up stabbing 12 campers. Weird situation."</p><p>"Oh damn, I never knew that." Landon was surprised. There's an interesting fact about Mystic Falls.</p><p>"I guess it was swept under the rug by the sheriff. Know one really knows who the killer was or why he did it. It's a true mystery."</p><p>"Wait, so it's an unsolved case?" Clarke nods his head. "Damn."</p><p>"Continue about last night?" Clarke pushes.</p><p>"Right, so we found Josie in the clearing with Hope of all people." Clarke has that look on his face, like he has heard that name before, Landon catches onto his brother's silence. "Hope, literally your best customer." He waits for the gears in Clarke's head to click. Clarke's lips make an 'O' shape. "Yea, Josie was out there with her, alone. So Josie's girlfriend obviously got upset because she doesn't like Hope at all. While the rest of us were talking to Josie, Penelope was picking a fight with Hope, once again." Landon isn't the biggest fan of Penelope. She's more like an acquaintance more than a friend to him.</p><p>"Let me guess, they got into an argument?"</p><p>"Worse." Landon let's that linger out in the open for a moment. "Hope decked Penelope in the face, like straight up UFC punched her. It was awesome." Landon is smiling, just thinking about watching Penelope getting punched warmed his heart.</p><p>"Sounds like a fun night, obviously not for Penelope." Clarke laughs.</p><p>After an hour of catching each other up on their lives, Clarke hands Landon his next load of pills to sell. Landon exchanged some cash owed for the drugs. Making some good money selling to preppy kids at a private boarding school. Turns out Clarke did want to keep Landon for dinner. This time Landon wanted to attend dinner with his brother. Slowly he is finding out more about his long lost brother, and he is loving it. He will never admit that to Rafael.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Beautiful Drama</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Landon gets home late that night. Only texting Rafeal a handful of times throughout the evening. The walk home was quiet, and frankly peaceful. Living in Mystic Falls, it has never been quiet, either it was some rowdy teenagers causing a ruckus or some drunk guy leaving the bar ever so nicely. Landon relished in this moment. The moonlight struck the greenery, leaving them with a gorgeous green-blue tint.</p><p>The dark haired boy arrives at the school, closer to midnight than Alaric would like, but Landon does not care. There are a couple kids roaming around the front grounds. The front of the school is dimly lit, he can make out a face or two of the kids hanging around. He smiles to himself, "today was good," he whispers.  </p><p>Making his way through the entrance, up some stairs, making a direct path to he and Rafael's room. He enters their room as quietly as he can. Landon was kind enough to let Raf know he was going to be home late, telling him to don't wait up. As he closes the door, a raspy voice interferes with the silence in the room. "Hey Lan."</p><p>Landon jumps, startled. "Damnit Raf, I thought you were asleep?" Landon attempts to laugh off the slight scare he just had. Walking towards his bed, stripping down to his underwear.</p><p>Rafael chuckles a bit, not moving from his comfortable spot in bed. "I was."</p><p>"Go back to sleep man." Landon laughs once again.</p><p>"Glad you got home ok." Rafael yawns out, already turning over to get into a more appleasable sleeping position.</p><p>"Night man." Mimicking Raf's position, curling into the fetal position with the comforter pulled up to his jaw.</p><p>---</p><p>Penelope is up late, still thinking about what happened this morning. She was tempted to text Josie, asking to talk about what happened. In the midst of typing out the text, she thought about it, harder than she usually does. Seconds later, she realises, this is their issue. They always talk about Hope or someone in their inner circle. Never speaking about each other. Penelope always thought they had good communication, but thinking about the past, they don't talk about each other nearly as much as they should.</p><p>1 AM comes rolling around, 'Sunday, great.' The young girl thinks. Tossing and turning all night, no thanks to her head hurting, both internally and externally. She's pretty sure she might have a concussion. Another half hour passes, she has had enough of this. Grabbing her phone, she shoots MG a quick text asking him. No, more like demanding him to meet her in the library.</p><p>---</p><p>MG was sound asleep, cuddling his second pillow he got from his mom when he moved in. He woke up to the aggressive notification tone from his phone. He jolts up, looks over to Kaleb's bed, thinking Kaleb went out for a night run. Nope, Kaleb looked dead in his bed. MG grunts as he reaches over to his nightstand. Unlocking his phone, clearing some silent notifications. He comes across a text from Penelope.</p><p>The two haven't had late night rendezvous in almost a year. Before Penelope got with Josie, MG and her would meet up late at night when everyone was asleep to have a brief make-out session. MG was pining for Lizzie, as Penelope was for Josie. The two bonded over that longing for the twins and decided to "teach" eachother good lip technique, as Penelope stated ever so long ago.</p><p>The sleepy boy throws on some house shoes as he sneaks out of the room. He knows he looks tired, strolling down the halls and stairs like a zombie.</p><p>---</p><p>Josie can't sleep. Wakes up to any noise she hears around the room, whether it's Lizzie's soft snores, or the people next door raging at whatever game they're into these days. Josie typically isn't a light sleeper, but her anxiety is in overdrive tonight. She gets up out of bed, realizing her throat is a bit too dry for her liking.</p><p>She stops at the bathroom first to take care of business before she goes to the cafeteria. Once there, she grabs a bottle of Coca-Cola from the fridge, gulping down half the bottle. Now she's satisfied. She brings the pint of soda with her. She walks by the library, stopping when she hears voices. Her mom and dad always told her, "eavesdropping is not right, you're intruding on people's private conversations." God how she misses her mom and dad's life lessons.</p><p>Josie can't help herself though. She moves closer to the archway, focusing her attention on the muffled voicing coming from the room.</p><p>"I don't know what to do with Josie." Josie hears who she believes to be Penelope. Her heart sinks to her stomach.</p><p>"Do you think she took what you said seriously? You guys broke up?" She can't make out whose voice that is. She has a few thoughts on who it could be.</p><p>"I don't know, possibly? I don't think she wants to talk to me right now, so I can't say for sure." Penelope's voice sounds like she's hurting. Josie's sunken heart aches.</p><p>"Give her today to think ok?" Josie peaks her head around the frame, seeing both MG's hands on Penelope's shoulders. Her heart skips a beat, she's happy that MG is such a supportive friend. "Talk to her in homeroom tomorrow." MG drops his hands and starts to walk towards Josie. Josie quickly moves to her spot behind the wall.</p><p>"Wait!" Penelope exclaims, not so quietly. Josie wants to look at what's going on but doesn't want to risk being seen.</p><p>She doesn't hear anyone speak for what she feels like is hours. She pokes her head around the frame once again, her eyes grow wide at the sight she sees. Her heart sinking and aching has turned into a painful throb. Josie stands there, watching one of her bestfriends reluctantly kissing her girlfriend. She pulls herself off the wall, accidently hitting her bottle against the frame, making the plastic sound like it shattered, as she flees the scene.</p><p>---</p><p>MG pulls away, "what was that?" He looks around the room. "Pen! Is anyone else in here? Oh my God! This was a trap, I shouldn't have come. You have a girlfriend! What was I thinking? Damnit!" MG's words come out in a rush, his ADHD brain not letting him take a breather.</p><p>"No, no, no. I swear no one is here! MG i'm sorry," the girl is distraught. She didn't mean to kiss MG, old habits die hard. She reaches out to grab MG's hand before he can scurry away like a deer in headlights. "Take a breath, calm down. No one saw us alright? This won't happen again. I'm sorry I put you in this position." Dark brown eyes meet hazel. "I'm sorry." She grips his hands tighter, signalling she's truly sorry.</p><p>MG doesn't say anything. He offers her a small sad smile as he pulls away and leaves the room. Leaving Penelope alone in the silence of her own inner thoughts.</p><p>---</p><p>Josie cries herself to sleep. She too didn't think her and Penelope broke up, they are now as far as she is concerned. Lizzie is holding Josie in her sleep. When Josie came into the room, a bawling mess, she unintentionally woke her twin up. Lizzie made her crawl into her bed with her, holding her till she fell asleep.</p><p>The girls wake up around 11 AM. Lizzie feels refreshed and energetic. While Josie is mess, eyes baggy and red from crying. "What the hell happened last night?" Lizzie asks the second she sees her sisters tear soaked eye lids pop open.</p><p>Josie wishes Lizzie wasn't so nosey. She sighs, looking over at her half empty bottle of soda next to her, she envies that bottle. Lizzie looks over Josie's shoulder, curious as to what is keeping her sister's attention. "What did that Earth-destroying bottle do to you?"</p><p>Josie giggles at the comment. "Nothing."</p><p>Lizzie unravels her arms from her sister and sits up. "Ok no more, what the hell happened? I won't ask again." Lizzie is more serious now, not that she never was.</p><p>Josie takes a deep breath in and out. "I saw Penelope and MG making out in the library." Liquid starts filling up her eyes from that memory.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Penelope and who?" Josie is regretting everything now, hearing her sister's angry rhetorical question.</p><p>"Yup. Lips were moving." Josie joins her sister in sitting up.</p><p>"MG wouldn't do that to you." Lizzie reassures.</p><p>"I know, it didn't look like he instigated it."</p><p>"You need to talk to that witch." Right after Lizzie finishes speaking, Josie's phone chirps.</p><p>Josie grabs her phone, looking at the lit up screen, "speak of the devil." She turns her phone to show her sister.</p><p>"Do you need me to go with you?" The blonde asks.</p><p>"No, I think I need to do this on my own. Thank you." She offers her sister a smile as she gets off the bed and leaves. Not caring about her appearance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING</p><p>Suicide reference. Next chapter will be heavy heavy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anxiety is nearly crippling Josie. Everything going on in her life this past year has been exhausting. All the rumors about her mother's death, Hope's "downfall", and now her girlfriend and her fighting leading to cheating? Josie can't keep up with everything anymore. She's just so tired. Done, drained.</p><p>Josie drags herself to Penelope's room. Thoughts racing, "Should I hear her out? Or end things for good?" Scenarios running around in her brain. It's too early in the morning to deal with more drama. She knows she has to deal with this, it was going to happen eventually, might as well rip the band-aid off.</p><p>She knocks upon the door, barely hitting the door. She's nervous as hell. Her heart rate increases when Penelope opens the door. "Hi." Penelope seems too enthusiastic.</p><p>"What do you want?" Josie snaps. Penelope takes a cautious step back, opening the door more and moving an arm, silently inviting Josie in. Josie shakes her head. Too hurt to speak up in fear of a shaky voice. She doesn't want to show this girl that she is vulnerable.</p><p>Penelope still doesn't get what's going on. "JoJo? What's wrong?" She uses her sweet-talking voice.</p><p>"Oh cut the crap Penelope! I know what you did last night alright?" Josie runs her hand through her hair. "You know, I'm so sick of the crap going on, we fight non stop, we can't agree on one thing. Then I see you swapping spit with MG! What the hell?" Her voice doesn't break, surprising to her. Pressure releases off her chest. It feels good to get her feelings out, yelling them out.</p><p>Penelope stands in shock. Eyes growing wide, mouth hanging open, it's like she just saw Medusa. Josie gives her some time to comprehend what she just said. It takes the stunned girl a minute to gather some words. "I'm sorry." Is all the girl can assemble together.</p><p>Josie was sure the girl would deny it, or atleast reach her arms out to Josie for comfort before responding.</p><p>"Look, I know we have been in a weird place these past few weeks, and I haven't been handling things too well, but can you blame me?" Penelope defends.</p><p>Josie scoffs, "actually, yes I can blame you for cheating."</p><p>"It just happened!" Penelope pleads desperately. "I didn't mean too, it just-"</p><p>"Happened?" Josie cuts in, arms crossed.</p><p>"It wasn't intentional. I wouldn't do that on purpose."  She's trying so hard to defend her actions. The fear of losing Josie is clouding her mind.</p><p>"The fact that you did it anyways, not thinking about who you could hurt?" Josie's voice finally breaks. Tears are forming in her eyes once again. She has cried too many times this past year, she's surprised she can still cry.</p><p>"I think we should call it quits. For real, not no "I'm done." We clearly have different opinions and we argue too much. It's not good for you, and I'm sorry I can't be the person you need me to be." Penelope gives up the fight. She's tired too, all the fighting is emotionally draining.</p><p>Josie takes a deep breath, "see you around Pen." Penelope steps forward. She stops when Josie puts a hand out to stop her. "No." Josie squeaks out.</p><p>Penelope watches Josie walk away. Penelope knows she should be more hurt about the break up, but she isn't. Realizing, no more fights about Hope, no more pain, it's like she's free of unnecessary tension.</p><p>---</p><p>Monday rolls around, making the weekend feel like it flew by. The group of friends all gather for breakfast, gathering their food and sitting at a table together, "how was everyone's weekend?" MG speaks first, everyone groans at his enthusiastic voice.</p><p>"Too much energy in the morning MG, tone it down please." Lizzie says on everyone's behalf.</p><p>"Hey, I haven't taken my meds yet ok, sorry." He shoots the blonde a goofy smile. Lizzie returns the gesture.</p><p>They each reveal what they did over the weekend. MG talks about helping Kaleb write some songs. Lizzie and Rafael talk about how they worked on a project for english, everyone gives them a look, not sure if that's what they actually did. "We aren't lying!" Lizzie exclaimed. Landon drops information about his brother, only Rafael knew about Clarke. "Wait? He goes by his last name? Weird." Kaleb remarks.  Everyone says sorry to Josie when she mentions her and Penelope broke up.</p><p>Things go smoothly all throughout the morning. Classes went well for everyone. Lunch comes rolling in sooner than anticipated. The crew find themselves gathered around MG's phone as he shows them some voice recordings of him and Kaleb's new song.</p><p>"Wow, you guys are good!" Josie is excited for them, pursuing a passion.</p><p>"You guys kind of got an EARTHGANG thing going!" Rafael adds.</p><p>The two boys smile at their friends' reactions. Josie stays silent through it all. Something isn't sitting right with her today. She knows it's not the fact that Penelope isn't here with them at lunch, she could care less, she has her other friends.</p><p>"Does anything feel off to any of you today?" Josie asks, turning her gaze around the room, trying to figure out what's missing. Everyone but Landon follows her actions by looking around the cafeteria too.</p><p>"No, I don't think anything is off." Rafeal says.</p><p>"No? Just me?" Josie pouts.</p><p>Landon exhales loudly, gaining everyone's attention, "Hope isn't here." He states simply.</p><p>It clicks for Josie. She hasn't seen Hope all weekend. "You're right, I didn't see her in history earlier." Lizzie announces.</p><p>Joise jolts off her seat, rushing out of the room before anyone claims everything is fine. She has an uncomfortable ache in her stomach. Knowing Hope's drug abuse, Josie starts to panic. She runs down the halls of the school, trying to get to Hope's room as quick as she possibly can.</p><p>The panicked girl doesn't waste a second once she gets to the room, nearly ripping the door off the hinges. She freezes when she sees Hope lying on the bed. Hope's shirt has dried vomit on the collar. Josie is too scared to go closer. She's crying again for the second time today. Josie rips her phone out of pocket and calls her dad, wasting no more precious time.</p><p>---</p><p>Alaric arrives to the room in minutes with one of the school nurses, who is holding something that looks like a first-aid pack. Josie wants to protest the nurse being here, but she decides against it. Wishing it was the doctor and not a nurse.. "What happened?" Alaric asks in panic. He has never had a student die on campus.</p><p>"I-I don't know. Dad, help her, please!" Josie sobbs out, hugging her father.</p><p>Lizzie enters the room, she covers her mouth the second she sees what's going on, "oh my God!" She too starts to cry. Josie pulls away from her dad and hugs her twin.</p><p>---</p><p>"What's her problem?" Penelope asks, approaching the table where her ex once was.</p><p>"Landon mentioned Hope and she bolted." Lizzie states nonchalantly.</p><p>"I'm going to go check on her."</p><p>"No, don't. I will once I finish my lunch, go back to your goth group alright?" Lizzie demanded, glaring the girl down. Penelope throws her hands up in defense and does what Lizzie told her. Lizzie finishes her meal and excuses herself from the table and heads towards Hope's room.</p><p>On her way up to Hope's room, she catches a glimpse of a nurse rushing with her father in the direction of Hope's room. Lizzie does not like where this is going. She immediately thinks that Hope has hurt Josie, picking up her pace to get to the room sooner.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Gravity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING</p><p>Suicide is heavily mentioned in near detail.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Friday night was a disaster. Hope just punched Penelope Park. Hope has always been aggressive, her parents always said she got that from her dad. She learned at a young age that taking your anger out physically on people was not ok, so she took it out on herself. When she was eight, her mom caught her in the act of self harm. She was beating herself up, literally. Once her dad found out, she was sent to her grandmother's cabin outside of New Orleans.</p><p>Klaus came to visit her every weekend after work. He showed her a healthy way to express her emotions, through art. Hope loved painting with her dad. It was a good outlet for whatever she was feeling. When her mom was diagnosed with Melanoma, she was devastated. Everyone in her family was worried she would have an outburst. Instead, she painted, painted everything. Painted her mom's face from diagnoses to deathbed.</p><p>Most of her aunts and uncles thought it was morbid and depressing that Hope painted such things, but Klaus was proud she used painting as a way to cope. She was only 14 when her mom died. Watching her mom die for four years. No treatments worked, in and out of hospitals.</p><p>Hope didn't have the greatest childhood. She's had a supportive family, but they weren't around much. Klaus was caught up in work with her uncle Marcel, whatever he did for work she still did not know. Hayley was always traveling with Elijah or Jackson, being caught up in a love triangle took most of her mothers attention. Hope grew close to her aunts and uncles.</p><p>Uncle Kol and Aunt Devina always made sure she was ok, whether it was being on top of school work or her emotional state. It was her Aunt Rebakah who found Salvatore Boarding School for her to attend. Hope didn't want to leave home, but no one wanted her to be around her mom dying, claiming they didn't want her to remember her mom like that.</p><p>Being abandoned to a strange town with no one she knew, it was hard. She knew the Satlzman twins mainly because her dad had a thing with their mom. Klaus went with her to orientation when she was 11. He made sure Alaric would treat her like his own, oh how Klaus was wrong many years later.</p><p>Thinking back to all the good times, there were few. At just the ripe age of 12, after being left in a new town, a new state, new school, new people, she developed abandonment issues. Alaric didn't stay true to his promise to her dad. He was never there for his own children to begin with, why take on another responsibility?</p><p>After the party on Friday, Hope's mind was spiraling. She wanted to hurt herself the way she hurt Penelope. She hated what she did. Not thinking was always her biggest downfall. Spending all day Saturday higher than a kite, not eating, not even sleeping. Isolating herself in her room was what she thought was her only option, at least this way she couldn't hurt anyone.</p><p>Sunday came rolling around, she wanted to go apologize to Penelope but knew that would be like talking to a brick wall. She almost found the motivation to leave her room and get something to eat and find Josie, but decided against that. She couldn't bear the thought of Josie hating her for hitting her girlfriend. So Hope did what she usually does these days, swallow a pill and forget about everything. Except this time, she decided to mix.</p><p>Hope had a bottle of tequila she stole from the party on Friday, and a 6-pack of cheap beer. She drank a beer in the morning after snorting a crushed up pill. An hour passes, she drinks two more beers. Noon comes rolling around, she takes another pill, chasing that buzz, she takes a swig out of the bottle of tequila. She hasn't felt this good in years.</p><p>The pills usually keep her feeling somewhat ok, but mixing like this? It feels almost euphoric. Before she was aware of what she was doing, she was downing the last beer in the pack with yet another pill. She couldn't feel her own body. Laying down on her bed, she tried wiggling her toes, nothing came from the attempt. She was blissfully numb. She loves it, feeling so relaxed and high.</p><p>She eventually passed out for a few hours. Waking up quarter to five the next morning. She missed dinner. "Oh well," she thinks. Her body has recovered from the excessive use. Hope hated how she was feeling. She let her dark thoughts take over her mind and body. She grabbed a handful of pills, even getting into her emergency stash. She's definitely stocked up. With the handful of pills, she crawls back onto her bed. Popping all nine pills in her mouth, swallowing them down with tequila. That's the last thing she remembers doing. The last thing she felt was her stomach reject her actions.</p><p>---</p><p>"What the hell happened?" Lizzie asks her father, who is standing in Hope's room in absolute shock as he watches the nurse work on Hope.</p><p>"I-'' He can't seem to comprehend what's unfolding in front of them. His eyes gliding around the room, going from the site of Hope to the bottles on the floor, to the half drunk tequila next to her in bed, to the mess of pills on her dresser. "How did I miss this?" He asks his girls.</p><p>"It's not your fault dad." Josie croaks out, tears still streaming down her face.</p><p>Lizzie holds her tighter, "Josie, she's going to be ok, right daddy?" Lizzie shoots her dad a worried look, "right?"</p><p>Alaric shakes his head. "I don't know Lizzie, we don't know how much she took and when." He hugs his two girls, trying to comfort them.</p><p>The three were too caught up in what was going on to notice the rush of Paramedics coming to Hope's aid. "Excuse me." One young man sternly says as he pushes through them to get into the room.</p><p>"Would you guys mind waiting outside while we work?" Another medic asks, politely unlike the other.</p><p>Alaric shoos his girls to wait out in the hallway, out of the way. Josie starts sobbing when she sees a stretcher being brought into the room.</p><p>A hoard of students are now in the hallway, trying to figure out why an ambulance is in the front of the school. "Whats going on?" MG asks as he approaches the girls.</p><p>"It's Hope." Lizzie quietly says. To everyone's surprise, Lizzie sounds hurt and scared.</p><p>"What do you mean it's Hope?" Landon nearly yells from behind MG.</p><p>"We don't know." Josie manages to speak out.</p><p>Minutes pass, everyone watching the scene. The paramedics have Hope on an oxygen mask. She's hooked up on a blood pressure machine, calculating her heart rate and oxygen levels. It looks like they're in a medical drama. "We need to get her to a hospital fast, make room!" The young paramedic yells as they all wheel Hope out of her room.</p><p>"I'm the headmaster of the school, I need to go with her." Alaric tries.</p><p>"Sorry sir, only family." Another paramedic says, following behind the stretcher.</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Sir." A cop says. A few cops have arrived, five to be exact. Two cops are asking kids in the hallway questions. Another two are in the room gathering evidence as to what happened. "We need you here to answer some questions."</p><p>Alaric agrees, leading the cop down to his office. The other cops have lured the kids out of the hallway, telling them all to go back to their dorms.</p><p>---</p><p>Josie is going crazy waiting. She needs to know what's going on. Texting her friends none stop asking if they have any clue. No one knows anything. "Don't beat yourself up Jo, you didn't know." Lizzie attempts to comfort her. Josie knows she could have possibly done more.</p><p>An hour drags out and Josie and Lizzie receive a notification from the school's alert system. "They want everyone in the auditorium." Josie says. The girls rush out of the room.</p><p>When they arrive, they see many other students crowd into the auditorium. They find their friends and sit with them, gossip and chatter can be heard around the room. The five cops are on the stage with Alaric. "Settle down!" Alaric speaks into the microphone. Everyone does what they were told. Taking their seats and silencing themselves rather quickly.</p><p>"As you all know, a student had a-" He stops, thinking about how to inform his students on what's happening. "Medical emergency." He finishes.</p><p>Some teachers can be found scattered around the outer rows of seats in the auditorium. Seems like they are aware of what's going on. Unlike the rest of the school, completely clueless.</p><p>One of the cops takes over for Alaric on the stage, "if any of you have any information about how this happened, please, come talk with us. We want to inform you guys, no one is at fault." Landon starts sweating profusely. "We are also conducting searches in every room. With permission from the county and Dr. Saltzman." Everyone starts to protest, Landon stays quiet.</p><p>"Quiet!" Alaric yells over the crowd, barely being heard.</p><p>"It's that weird lonely girl huh?" A random kid yells out. Some join the kid in asking about who it is.</p><p>Alaric shoots the kids a disapproving glare. "We are not able to release the students identity at this time." A cop interrupts.</p><p>Landon manages to squeeze out of the row of students and out the room. Everyone of his friends give each other a knowing look. He's clearing his stash of drugs before the search. The assembly was concluded shortly after Landon's departure. Issuing all the students to wait outside their rooms or in the library as they start searching the rooms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I wrote this based off my own experience with an overdose. Please. If you or someone you know are struggling with an sort of addiction, talk to them. Help them find resources near by to get the professional help.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Heroes Never Die</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The twins are let back into their room, watching as the cop enters another room. They watch as other students are just as irritated and offended. "This is so stupid." Lizzie exclaims as she drops down on top of her bed. Four minutes pass and Lizzie catches on that Josie hasn't said a word. "Hey, you ok?"</p>
<p>Josie wants to cry, but she can't, she physically can't.  This year has been too much for her. She can't imagine where Hope's mind went when she chose to overdose. The brunette doesn't answer her sister. She just sits there on her bed picking at the skin around her nails, occasionally bringing the loose skin to her mouth to chew on. </p>
<p>"Jo?" Lizzie scoots off her bed and onto Josie's. "Talk to me, please." She doesn't want to beg but she needs her sister to talk before she fully breaks down. Lizzie places a hand on her sister's shoulder, firmly squeezing it. "I'm here if you need me."</p>
<p>Josie thinks for a moment. She places a hand on top of Lizzie's. Giving her sister a small smile, she lays down and brings her sister down with her. They haven't had a twin cuddle session in a while. Being held is one of Josie's biggest stress relievers. "Do you think she's alive?" </p>
<p>"I hope so, I really do." </p>
<p>They lay there in silence for almost an hour before they get a text in their group chat. Josie shoots up, "Landon texted." </p>
<p>"What'd he say?" Lizzie joins her sister in sitting up.</p>
<p>"His brother is taking him out of town for a week or so. Do you think the cops found something?" Josie's eyes grow wide, so much for some stress relief. </p>
<p>Lizzie stands up quickly, rushing towards the door, "let's go see." She exits the room, with Josie following close behind. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>"I don't have anything." Landon is anxious, he thinks he cleared most of the drugs, aside from some Advil tablets and some vitamins. The curly haired boy watches as the cop pops open the tops of the bottles to examine the contents inside. </p>
<p>Landon just watches. The cop empties the bottles out on their gloved hands, shooting Landon a skeptical glare. Landon just smiles, knowing he should be in the clear. Rafael is standing next to him, talking to Jed. "They found what is in your room?" Raf asks Jed.</p>
<p>"They found some prescription weed, just some edibles. Nothing to really get me in trouble." Jed shrugs his shoulders, no care in the world. </p>
<p>Rafael looks close at Jed. "Are you high right now?" He whispers. </p>
<p>Jed smiles, it's a bit lopsided but who cares right? Raf looks over at Landon, "he's high right now. In front of a cop." He looks back over to Jed, "are you stupid dude?" He smacks his friend's arm. </p>
<p>"Hey! It's for my anxiety dude, it's fine!" Jed defends, rubbing his arm where Rafael hit him. </p>
<p>Rafael rolls his eyes, pushing his friend away. Jed gets the hint and goes back to his room. His room is right next to Rafael's and Landon's, he didn't have to go far. The cop finishes searching the boys room shortly after Jed leaves. </p>
<p>"All clear sarg." The cop speaks into his radio on his shoulder. Landon loosens up, he didn't realize he was tense up until now. The boys head back into their room, leaving their door open. </p>
<p>"Thank God this is over." Rafael speaks up. He leans against their window with his arms folded. He watches as some students are hanging out in the yard. "What a day."</p>
<p>"What the hell is going on here?" Clarke enters, surprising both the boys. </p>
<p>"Ryan!" Landon is spooked. "How the hell did you get in?" </p>
<p>"The door?" Rafael can see the family trait is sarcasm. He can't help but chuckle at the response. </p>
<p>"No, Landon means how'd you get past the cops, the school is being searched." Rafael adds in.</p>
<p>"What happened?" Clarke ignores the question, turning his attention to his brother.</p>
<p>"Hope OD'd." Landon's tone is firm and steady, unlike his face which is now pouty. </p>
<p>Clarke steps closer, he is mad. "How the hell did you let that happen?"</p>
<p>Landon throws his arms up, surrendering. "Hey, I didn't know she would go that far alright, no one knew."</p>
<p>"You are her friend aren't you? You should have been monitoring her dumbass." He flicks his little brother's forhead. Rafael gets a weird ping in his chest. Jealousy isn't the best feeling in the world.</p>
<p>"Ow!" Landon says, smacking his brothers hand away from his face. "We aren't entirely friends. I might have exaggerated it a bit."</p>
<p>"Oh you think?" Clarke steps back. "You." He points to Rafael, twitching his fingers back to call him over. Rafael pushes off the edge of the window and walks towards Clarke. "You're his brother correct?"</p>
<p>Rafael nods his head, propping himself up to try to match Clarke's height. To be honest, he is threatened by Clarke. He is Landon's blood, they share that kind of connection he and Landon will never have.</p>
<p>"You two need to keep an eye out on eachother." He places his hands on each of the boy's shoulders. "I'm going to El Paso later tonight, I think you two should join me, have a brother's trip. What do you think?" He looks between both of them. Landon looks excited. Rafael seems a bit worried. </p>
<p>"Oh, I'm not you-" He is cut off abruptly.</p>
<p>"You and Landon are brothers, which in a way makes you my brother too. I want to get to know you." Clarke intrudes. </p>
<p>"Come on Raf, it'll be a nice break." Landon starts begging, "how cool would it be to get to have my brothers hanging out?"</p>
<p>"Yea I guess." Rafael smiles, looking at Landon's goofy grin. </p>
<p>"It's settled then, pack your bags, I'll be waiting in my truck." Clarke leaves the two to pack up. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>"I can't believe they get an escape from this." Lizzie is upset after their confrontation with their friends. "It's not right."</p>
<p>"Lizzie, it's not that bad. I think they deserve a break too." Josie adds in, she too is a little jealous but is supporting her friends.</p>
<p>"What ever." Lizzie rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>Josie walks her sister back to their room, "I'm going to go talk to dad." She says, leaving before her sister can protest.</p>
<p>When she gets to her dad's office, she sees he's on the phone and it looks serious. She pulls up a chair from his desk and sits. Alaric finally hangs up the phone and turns to see Josie. </p>
<p>"Josie!" Josie can't help but smile. Scaring her dad is always entertaining. </p>
<p>"What was that about?" She asks, sitting forward.</p>
<p>"It was the doctor. Hope is going to be ok." He smiles at his daughter, watching the relief show up on her face and in her eyes. "They're going to monitor her for the next 48 hours to make sure she's stable."</p>
<p>"Can I go see her?" Josie asks. She was happy but sad at the same time. Glad Hope is ok, but sad that she is in so much pain that she tries to kill herself.</p>
<p>"Sure, no one in her family is answering my calls and she needs someone, why not." Josie has a huge smile painted on her face.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>"It's good Landon is going out with his brother, good that Raf is joining them. Family is important, blood or not." </p>
<p>Josie stays quiet, hearing her dad speak about how important family is irks her. He has never been 'Dad of the Year' and him saying this is ironic. She bites her tongue. </p>
<p>"I'm going to drop you off at the front, I'll go park the car." He pulls up to the Emergency Room entrance. </p>
<p>"Ok, what room is she in?" Josie asks as she unbuckles her seatbelt.</p>
<p>"I don't know, just ask a nurse." Alaric says, unlocking the doors so she can exit. Josie wastes no time to hop out. Dread creeps up on her like a sore throat. </p>
<p>She approaches the front desk, "hi, could you tell me what room Hope Mikaelson is in?" She politely asks. </p>
<p>"Are you family?" The receptionist asks, not looking up from the screen.</p>
<p>Josie stutterers, "no, she doesn't have family in town." Josie has a feeling they wont let her see Hope. Waiting as the receptionist types away on her keyboard.</p>
<p>"She's in room 119, just down the hall." He finally looks up from the screen, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder.</p>
<p>"Thank you." Josie offers a smile. She walks in the direction pointed by the man. Stopping at every door to look at the room number. Finally she gets to Hope's room. There is a nurse taking her vitals and checking her IV. Josie is hurt seeing Hope like this. Hope doesn't have an oxygen mask on this time. She is laying there, pale and sad. "Hey." Josie knocks on the doorframe. </p>
<p>"Almost done in here." The nurse smiles at her. Josie waits for the nurse to finish, "all yours." The kind nurse smiles at Josie again as she exits the room, closing the door behind Josie when she steps further into the room.</p>
<p>"Hey." Josie shyly states once again. Slowly walking towards Hope's bed. Her heart is racing at the site of Hope. Hope tries to sit up, but fails, "hey it's ok, just don't move." Josie hurries to her side, gently pushing Hope back down by her shoulders.</p>
<p>"I didn't try to kill myself." Hope grunts out, readjusting her position in the bed. She is uncomfortable. She hates hospitals. Josie's facial expression is all Hope needs to continue. "I didn't realise how much I took. I was just-"</p>
<p>"In pain." Josie cuts her off. Sad eyes bleeding into Hope's. </p>
<p>"All I remember is punching Penelope." Hope avoids Josie's eyes. "I'm so sorry I did that."</p>
<p>"Don't be sorry. She deserves it." Josie says, studying Hope's face.</p>
<p>Hope laughs, causing pain to jolt down to her abdomen. "God." Hope fights her way into a sitting position. "I'm sorry for everything I have put you through. Last thing I want to do is hurt you." Hope confesses.</p>
<p>Josie doesn't know what to say, instead she grabs Hope's hand, avoiding the IV tube dangling near it.</p>
<p>Hope watches Josie's action, looking up at her pretty brown eyes. She looks closely and sees there's more than sadness hiding there. "Oh my God! You are the one who found me aren't you?" </p>
<p>Josie nods, fighting back tears, thinking about the site of Hope's lifeless body. She squeezes Hope's hand tighter.</p>
<p>Hope starts to cry, "I'm so sorry, I'm so stupid!" Josie's heart breaks. Seeing Hope cry is something that rarely occurs.</p>
<p>"Hope, stop." Josie states. Reaching a hand up to wipe the tears from her own face. "Stop apologizing to me. You don't need to be sorry, you just need to get better."</p>
<p>"Thank you for finding me." Hope softly mutters.</p>
<p>"Everyone is worried about you." Josie adds in.</p>
<p>Hope scoffs. "I doubt that."</p>
<p>"They are! Even Lizzie." Josie fights back.</p>
<p>Hope laughs again, placing a hand on her belly as the sharp pain jolts through. "That's hard to believe. She's probably experiencing some Twin Sympathy Pain. Not assuming you are in pain or anything, I just-" Hope starts to ramble.</p>
<p>"Hope." Josie smiles at her. Smiling at the fact that she hasn't seen this side of Hope in years. "I care about you. I know I haven't been the greatest friend to you these past few years, but I want to change that. I want to be here for you, to help you through whatever troubles you have going on in that thick skull." She pokes the top of Hope's head.</p>
<p>Hope smiles at her for a few minutes, enjoying the silent company. That was until Alaric opened the door.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Angels Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The room went dead silent. The site of Alaric, the expression sitting way too comfortably on his face killed the conversation going on, or lack thereof. He is disappointed and frankly, offended. No one has ever attempted their lives on campus. Yes they have lost a few students to suicide, but never an attempt on school grounds.</p>
<p>"Joise, can you give us a minute please?" He says as he clears his throat. Alaric knows he's interrupting something.</p>
<p>Josie looks over at Hope, letting her give the answer. "No, I'd prefer if she stayed." Hope twitches her lips up in a small smile, Josie mirrors it.</p>
<p>Alaric coughs, once again clearing his throat. "Alright, I talked to your doctor since I'm technically your guardian. You're very lucky, do you know that?" His voice is stern. Hope nods her head in shame and lets him continue. "They pumped your stomach and gave you some steroids and antacids. They decided to hold you for 48 hours due to your actions, they are putting it in your medical records as a suicide attempt." Hope has a dazed look on her face, it's like she checked out. "Hope? Do you not understand how serious this is?" Alaric is getting upset, angry and agitated.</p>
<p>"Dad, go easy on her ok?" Josie defends. </p>
<p>"Go easy? I had no clue she was consuming opioids in my school!" He raises his voice. "Josie, please leave." He points to the door with his left arm and brings his right hand up to rub in between his eyebrows. </p>
<p>Hope is still silent and out of it. Josie looks over at Hope, her heart aches for the poor girl. "It's not her fault dad." She looks back over at her father, "she's only 17, something was introduced to her as a coping mechanism, what else do you expect at depressed 17 year old highschool girl to do when she loses just about everything important to her?" Now it's Joise's turn to raise her voice. She gets in her fathers face as she defends Hope's actions and decisions. </p>
<p>"What do I expect? For her to do better! Ask for help, something, anything else but abuse!"</p>
<p>"Anything else but abuse? Do you not know her history?" Josie crosses her arms. Her blood is boiling at her fathers accusations.</p>
<p>"I know a lot more than you do, Josie. Now just leave the room so I can talk to Hope alone please?" He is starting to calm down, realizing arguing with Josie is a lost cause, always has been, always will be.</p>
<p>Josie stands up straight, arms still crossed, "No."</p>
<p>Before Alaric can protest, a nurse enters the room, "everything alright in here?" She looks between the three, taking note at Josie's defensive position between Hope and her father.</p>
<p>"Everythings fine." Josie says, relaxing her position, sadly, Alaric doesn't get the memo. </p>
<p>The nurse walks past Josie to check on Hope, who looks like she just saw a ghost. "I think you two should leave, go get something to eat or get some water." The nurse says without looking behind her at the two squarling. "I need to check her vitals anyways."</p>
<p>The father and daughter duo take the nurses advice and head down to the closest vending machine.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>"What do you think is going on at the hospital?" Landon asks. It's nearly midnight and they are only an hour in on their bro-trip. </p>
<p>Rafael sets his phone down on his leg, "she's going to be fine Lan." </p>
<p>"Let's not think about what happened today, ok? Let's enjoy this trip and take a stress free vacation?" Clarke asks, looking at the boys in the rear view mirror. </p>
<p>Landon looks at Rafael who just shrugs his shoulders in agreement. Landon crosses his arms like a toddler who was told to go take a time out. </p>
<p>"Good, now take a nap or something, next stop is in-" Clarke looks down at his dash to check his fuel, "maybe three hours." The boys decide to listen to Clarke and take a quick nap.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Lizzie and what's left of the gang are out at the Old Mill, Jed thought it'd be a good idea to throw yet another party since they were given the week off due to what happened after lunch. Their smaller group of friends were gossiping about what they thought happened.</p>
<p>"I think she broke, finally broke." Kaleb says, typical Kaleb, speaking before thinking.</p>
<p>"Or she's had enough of everyones bullshit." Penelope adds, approaching the group. </p>
<p>Everyone gives her a dirty look.  She seems to be in too high of spirits considering the heaviness of the situation. "You think you have any room to talk?" Lizzie says, eyeing the girl like she just crawled out of a dumpster.</p>
<p>Penelope has the audacity to look offended. "Excuse me? I wasn't the one who was feeding into her habits unlike all of you." She flicks her wrist around to point an accusing finger at everyone around.</p>
<p>"Bullshit!" MG speaks up. "You were one of the biggest problems in her life. We all know why she punched you. I'm not the type of person who says people are asking for it, but you most definitely were asking for it. Constantly attacking her."</p>
<p>"Attacking?" Penelope lets out a staggered laugh. "She attacked me!"</p>
<p>Lizzie scoffs at the remark, "you are the biggest cause of her problems!"</p>
<p>"Guys, we are all to blame in more ways than one." Jed comes up from Lizzie causing her to jump. He places a gentle hand on her arm as a physical apology. "Look, we all know Landon was literally feeding her habit. If he never offered her one of his antidepressants she would probably never be in the position she's in now." Everyone is surprised at his sudden outburst of calmly stating the truth. "We all could have done more to either stop what we saw going down or atleast try to be her friend instead of gossiping about her dad's death." Jed continues.</p>
<p>"Klaus Mikaelson did kill Josie and Lizzie's mom." Penelope puts out there, leaving it hanging in the air like it's nothing.</p>
<p>Lizzie sighs, defeated. "We don't know that for sure Satan." She glares at the girl.</p>
<p>"Oh, but we do. I did some research on the case reports." Once again, she lets her words hang out there for dramatics. Annoyed but curious, the group waits patiently for her to continue. Penelope takes a deep breath in and out. "Klaus was the driver, Lizzie." She watches as Lizzie's face falls into a frown.</p>
<p>"We already knew that." Lizzie nearly whispers.</p>
<p>MG quickly puts an arm around Lizzie, offering some comfort. Lizzie accepts his touch, even leaning into him. "We don't need to hear this tonight." MG says towards Penelope.</p>
<p>The darker haired girl puts her arms up like she's being arrested. "Alright, but this was a once time opportunity to hear the truth, but no, you guys don't want to hear it." She walks off, arms still up.</p>
<p>"She's so annoying, what did Josie ever see in her?" Kaleb asks, ironically as he checks her ass out as she walks away. Jed slaps his arm giving him a dirty look.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>"Hope, sweety?" The nurse speaks softly. She finished taking the young girls vitals, writing the results down on her chart. Softly placing a hand on Hope's back, "hey, you're going to be ok, ok?" She watches as Hope nods her head slightly. </p>
<p>Hope is lost in her mind. She's aware of what's going on around her but she's frozen. She has an urge to get high to calm her mind or to knock herself out. The doctor refuses to have a nurse give her any kind of sleep medication. Hope is in pain. Her stomach feels like it's practicing gymnastics, her chest hurts, she is sweating, and she is lethargic. The nurse did warn her when she woke up that she will experience withdrawals. Hope doesn't know what this is, but she's too afraid to ask. </p>
<p>The nurse studies Hope's silence. She does a small physical exam. Takes her a minute, but when she finishes she lifts Hope's head, forcing her to make eye contact. Hope's eyes are glazed, confirming the nurse's suspicion. "Withdrawals are starting. It's only going to get worse unfortunately. I'm going to go get you some Tylenol to ease some of it, but that's all we can give you, I'm so sorry sweety." The nurse rubs Hope's arms as she gently lays her down on her back. </p>
<p>After tucking Hope back in bed, the nurse leaves to grab some liquid Tylenol to put in Hope's IV drip. On her way back, she runs into Alaric and Josie. She hurries over to cut the two off before they get to Hope's room. "I'm sorry, but she needs to get some rest. The doctor will call you when she's ready to be released." Directing her words toward Alaric. </p>
<p>Alaric nods, "alright, not a problem. Thank you." He offers the nurse a smile, unfortunately for him, she does not return the gesture. "I'll meet you in the car Josie, I need to speak with the nurse." </p>
<p>Joise is reluctant to leave the hospital, but she does what she is told and leaves. She turns her head to get one last look at Hope's room, whose door is still open. Her heart is breaking into millions of pieces, Hope looks so... frail. </p>
<p>Alaric finds Josie in the lobby, he forgot to tell her where he parked the car. "Sorry Jo."  Josie stands up, arms still folded and a frown on her face. Alaric wants to say something but doesn't. They get to his Land Rover and they head back to the school.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all so much for the feedback on this fic! I hope you all are still enjoying this!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Flames</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The past 45 hours have been annoying to say the least. Hope having to talk to therapists every 12 hours for a "mental check" is becoming overwhelming. She didn't purposely try to kill herself. Never once in her life had she ever truly thought about ending her life. Is she depressed? Oh most definitely, but never has she thought about ending it all. Has she ever thought about not being alive anymore? Yes, yes she has, but never thought about acting on those thoughts. She knows how much someone dies affects anyone around you. </p><p>Unfortunately, the nurse doesn't let Josie or Alaric come visit. After what happened the first time, the nurse didn't want to risk a second time. Hope can't help but feel like she is the one who caused the fight between them. She has thought a lot about what has led her to be in this hospital bed. Desperation took over her. The pain of becoming an orphan, of being abandoned by her other family members because they are apparently too busy to care for a 17 year old kid. </p><p>Hope hasn't opened up to the therapists. To her surprise, they have been really patient with her about it all. They keep asking why she did it, where her mind was when she did it. To be honest, Hope doesn't know anymore. Every hour passes by and she seems to be forgetting the weekend. She knows she remembered it, but now, it seems like her mind is trying to protect her from herself in a way.</p><p>"Okay, we called your headmaster informing him on your progress. I have a few things to ask you, is that alright?" The doctor asks Hope as he walks into the room. Hope nods her head, not bothered with the fact that she should probably sit up to listen, but she's way too comfortable laying on her side at this moment. "So, first off, how do you think you are doing today?" </p><p>She takes a minute to think, process what has been going on in her life. How is she doing, truly? "Do you want the truth or some bullshit lie to get me out of this hospital bed?" She asks.</p><p>The doctor laughs, seemingly writing that down on his notepad. "No, I want the truth, we aren't in a hurry to get you out if you aren't ready." He offered her a smile.</p><p>"I think I'm ok." She is ok, not good, not bad, just ok. Being sober is killing her though. She has this need to get high. She knows now that withdrawals suck, but having them while under the supervision of medical professionals surely is a plus. Not being judged by the team of nurses who tend to her when she needs them. </p><p>One nurse in particular has made it his mission to be there for Hope when she gets the shakes. Making sure he brings a heated up blanket to trick Hope's body into believing that the shaking is because she's cold, not because her body is fighting against her sobriety. Hope is glad this nurse is kind to her, the others are nice and all but not as attentive as he is. He is kind and nurturing, everything a nurse should be in Hope's book.</p><p>"Just okay? Alright, do you think you are okay enough to be released this afternoon?" Another question about Hope's feelings. She hates this so much. Hope doesn't give him an answer, she instead nods. She's comfortable where she is now. The care she has been receiving is all she has wanted since her mom died. Yes she hates hospitals but being cared for like this, it's soothing.</p><p>The doctor finishes writing his note, "alright, i'll give Dr. Saltzman a call back. I will be back to discharge you." The doctor leaves after smiling at her once again. </p><p>---</p><p>Lizzie informed Josie on the news Penelope attempted to drop on her and their friends at the party the other day. "Jed threw a party the day Hope tried to kill herself? Are you joking?" Josie's blood is boiling, how insensitive can people be?</p><p>"No, Josie it's not like that. He threw it as a get together for everyone to get away from what happened. It wasn't really a party, it was just everyone hanging out and figuring out what is going on." Lizzie responds.</p><p>Josie snorts, "yea, okay, sure." Josie's phone buzzes in her jacket pocket after she finishes her brief response. "Hope's being released today. Dad is going to pick her up right now." Josie eyes the text message, slightly offended that he didn't ask her to go with.</p><p>"Are you going to go with him or stay here?" Lizzie asks. </p><p>"No, he didn't ask me to." Josie frowns as she turns off her phone screen and slips it back into her jacket.</p><p>"So? Go anyways, do you really want her to be alone in a car with dad?" Lizzie twitches an eyebrow up.</p><p>Josie thinks, "you're right. Wait?" Josie asks. Lizzie stays silent, letting her sister continue without any interference. "Do you think Hope would want to see me?" Yep, there goes Josie's anxiety and self-doubt again.</p><p>Lizzie approaches her sister and pulls her into a hug. "Hope has a lot to thank you for, and she'll thank you for saving her from being with dad alone, listening to one of his 'I'm disappointed in you' lectures." Lizzie pulls away from her sister, "go before dad leaves." Lizzie smiles.</p><p>Returning the smile, Josie bolts out her room, nearly running down the hall and to where her dad keeps the car. She manages to get to the car at the same time as Alaric. "I'm coming with, and I won't take no for an answer." She looks her dad dead in the eye, not blinking.</p><p>Alaric sighs, unlocking the doors, "fine." They enter the car and drive off to the hospital.</p><p>---</p><p>"She's going to need to go see a therapist three times a week for the first two weeks. Also, she will need to be drug tested every 12 hours if possible. Sobriety is key to her getting better. We don't want to see her back here in the condition she arrived in." The doctor tells Alaric, he seems dead serious about Hope's recovery.</p><p>"How did her mental evaluation go?" Josie cuts in.</p><p>The doctor hesitates to answer her, but caves in. "We don't have concrete proof that she tried to commit suicide, but she is suffering from depression. This is why we believe therapy will be helpful in her situation. She is holding a lot of emotions in, and she needs help working through them."</p><p>Josie is pleased and saddened by his answer. All Hope has been through, she is finally getting the help she needs to move on with her life. Hopefully move on past her drug habits too.</p><p>Hope approaches them at the main front desk of the hospital. Alaric and Josie were stopped at the desk by Hope's doctor when they entered the hospital through the main entrance. Hope is still pale, her eyes still a little cloudy. "Hey." Josie smiles softly at Hope. </p><p>The older girl doesn't return the smile nor does she answer. She walks straight outside, finally getting some fresh air. Taking a deep breath in and holds it in for a good amount of time. Letting the breath out, she feels a bit better physically. She felt like she was suffocating in the hospital. The air felt thin and it was stale, more stale than the old school she lives in.</p><p>Josie follows her outside, watching Hope take a deep breath outside. Smiling at the girl, happy to see her alive. Josie is starting to think that seeing a therapist wouldn't hurt her, considering what has happened this past year.</p><p>Once Alaric finishes signing the release forms and getting information on therapists close by the school, and getting some at-home urine drug tests, he leads the girls back to the car. The nurse was sure to give him some pointers on Hope's withdrawals. Making sure he understands that this next week is going to be harder than the past 48 hours have been.</p><p>The car ride home was awkward and quiet. He wants to say something to Hope about everything, but after speaking to the nurse, he feels he has played a big part in all this. Alaric starts to blame himself for letting this happen. What if this was one of his girls? How could he let anyone in the school be this miserable? How was he this oblivious to what is going on around the school? He knows he has a lot of work to do on himself to be a better father and headmaster of the school. Kids parents rely on him to care for their children. He now knows he is failing everyone in that school.</p><p>---</p><p>"MG texted me." Rafael says. The boys are walking around El Paso trying to find a place they all agree on going to eat at. </p><p>"Well? What'd he say?" Landon asks. </p><p>"Hope is on her way home." Rafael reads the text out loud, "she's ok Lan." He can't fight the smile that pops up, watching the relief come across Landon's eyes. </p><p>"Good for her!" Clarke exclaims. He's glad this girl is ok. He never meant for Landon to sell to someone with so many demons. "How about McDonald's?" He asks, walking towards the fast food chain. The two younger boys groan, but agree. </p><p>---</p><p>Once Alaric drops the girls off at the front of the school, Hope makes a beeline towards her room, not giving Josie a second to talk to her. The second she enters her room, she goes straight to her dresser. Searches for her stash, finding that her room was cleaned. Anger takes over. She wanted to get a quick hit in. Hope slams her dressed drawer closed. She walks over to her bed, ripping her bed covers off to get easier access to her fitted sheets. Using her hands to scan around her fitted sheets to find her other stash. </p><p>"What do you think you are doing?" Josie asks. Hope stops in her tracks, she doesn't bother turning around. </p><p>"Go away Josie." Hope snaps at the girl in her door frame. Returning to her search.</p><p>Josie folds her arms as she walks deeper into the girls room. "Cops searched everyone's rooms, Hope. You aren't going to find anything." </p><p>Hope runs a hand through her hair, giving up on her search. She lets out a pained grunt. All she needs right now is to be high. Her body is telling her that's what she needs.</p><p>"Hope. Please." Josie grabs Hope to turn her around to face her. "Look at me." Josie demands.</p><p>Reluctantly, Hope brings her eyes up to look at the taller girl. She looks for any sign of disappointment in the girls eyes and finds nothing but sadness. Her heart does a flip in her chest, Hope doesn't know what emotions she is feeling but she has gotten used to the feeling of guilt, anger, and sadness and can now define which is which. This is guilt this time, taking over the anger she had the entire car ride here.</p><p>Josie stands there, hand still on Hope's arm, staring into the older girl's pure blue eyes. Something takes over Josie and she pulls Hope into a tight hug, resting her head on top of Hope's. Josie wraps her arms around the girl, holding her there like she's afraid she will escape.</p><p>Hope takes a moment to process what is going on, she hesitates to hug the girl back but ultimately hugs Josie back. Hope hugs her tight, like she's holding on for dear life. The two hug for a long time, longer than Hope would usually like, but this feels good. Hope misses this. Having a solid hug, not a quick side hug or a loose hug she'd occasionally receive. </p><p>"Can I move past this?" Hope croaks out. She hasn't noticed that she was crying until now. Josie doesn't pull back or answer the girl. She tightens her hold on the girl, letting her cry it out on her chest. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I didn't expect the Legacies fandom to enjoy or like this fic. It means a lot! Thank you all so damn much!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. All I Have</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie has been standing in Hope's room hugging her, positively hugging the older girl. The brunette has started stroking Hope's back which is starting to overwhelm the girl. She and Hope have hugged a few times since they met, but it has never been something this genuine. Josie wants to hold this girl forever.</p><p>"Uh? What's going on here?" Lizzie intrudes. Neither girl knew the blonde was standing behind them watching what's going on. The two gingerly pull apart, Hope is a little embarrassed about what happened.</p><p>"Lizzie! You don't need to be sneaky you know." Josie starts to pout, her signature look. This causes Lizzie to smirk at Josie, she even catches a blush on Josie's cheek. </p><p>Lizzie turns her attention directly on Hope, "how are you?" She goes soft. The pain in her chest hasn't subsided since Josie ran off to find Hope on Monday. "I know I have made things here rough for you, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the unnecessary bullying." Both Josie and Hope's eyes widen at her words. Is Lizzie actually apologizing?</p><p>Josie steps towards her sister, raising a hand to touch her twin's forehead, "no fever..." Josie turns to smile at Hope. "Something else has gotten into her, Lizzie, did you hit your head earlier?" Josie teases. <br/>Lizzie smacks her sister's hand off her head. "Whatever! I just wanted to be a better person, looks like that attempt was worthless." Lizzie flips her head around making her hair slap her sister's face. "See you at dinner!" Lizzie slowly walks out of the room.</p><p>Hope wants to laugh at what happened. "Okay, what was that?" Hope asks Josie. Josie shrugs her shoulders, she's just as confused. </p><p>---</p><p>"Why did we come with you just to have us wait in the truck?" Landon asks his biological brother.</p><p>Clarke sighs, "I'm here to see dad." He says so quietly it could be mistaken for a whisper. He watches his brother's face, studying his reaction. Landon doesn't know what to say.</p><p>"Wait, let me get this straight. You asked Landon and I to come with you to meet your dad?" Rafael asks, trying to understand what Clarke is intending.</p><p>Clarke nods his head. "Look, Landon, I didn't trick you into coming down here with false pretenses, I want to spend time with both of you," he looks between the two younger boys, "I just wanted to give you a chance to meet dad."</p><p>"Outside a sheriff's station?" Landon asks, "does he know what we are involved in?" His anxiety is spiking, is his brother here to turn him in?</p><p>"Yes he does know what is going on back in Mystic Falls, he sent me there. He's been keeping tabs on you the past few years." Clarke confesses.</p><p>"So you are saying you and Landon's sperm donor have known about his existence for years and haven't come to see him or make any attempt to contact him?" Rafael angrily asks, asking the questions he knows Landon is too scared to ask.</p><p>Clarke exhales dramatically. "It's not what you think, ok?"</p><p>"Then what is it?" Rafael snaps back.</p><p>"He didn't know you were even alive until I reported back to him that you are. He sent me to Mystic Falls because he has connections there. I just happened to see you." Clarke defends.</p><p>Rafael and Clarke turn their glares to Landon, waiting for him to respond to them. Landon gives in, "so, that's why you approached me in the park that day? Not because you lost your dog?" Landon asks, he thinks for a moment, "you don't even have a dog!" He laughs.</p><p>"I know, I just wanted to talk to you. I had a feeling I knew who you were." Clarke states.</p><p>"Why did you guys think he was dead?" Rafael asks.</p><p>Clarke takes a needed deep breath. "Dad always thought your mom aborted you. See, dad is known for having one night stands, he travels a lot. Most the girls he hooked up with ended up getting an abortion. He assumed your mother did what the others did."</p><p>"You weren't aborted." Landon blurts out.</p><p>"No, I wasn't. I happened to be the product of a college party hook-up, my grandparents raised me. My mom was only 17, still in high school. She lied about her age to get into the party where she met dad. He was 22 and believed her. After dad found out she was pregnant, he wasn't ready to be a father." Clarke seems hurt by the fact their dad didn't want him. </p><p>"I'm sorry, I wasn't wanted either." Rafael adds in, feeling sympathetic towards this man.</p><p>"It's not as bad as it sounds. My mom wanted to go to college and all, so she left me with her parents who were more than happy to have me." Clarke smiles at the boys. "But, it is one hundred percent your choice if you want to meet him. If not, I get it."</p><p>"I want to meet him." Landon firmly states, trying to convince himself. "Only if Rafael comes too." He demands.</p><p>"Of course, I wouldn't have you go alone with me, that's why I invited Raf to come on the trip!" Clarke smiles. "Let's go see him."</p><p>The three enter the station, walking past the front desk straight to the holding cells. "Dad." Clarke says, no emotion in his tone of voice. "I brought you one of your kids." </p><p>They stop in front of an old grungy looking man. He looks like he has struggled more than a lot in his life. "Hi." Landon awkwardly waves at his father. "I'm Landon." Rafael focuses his attention on his brother, making sure he is ready to rescue Landon if needed. </p><p>"Landon! Seylah's kid!" The old man over enthusiastically says. Landon is stunned. He didn't know anything about his mom, not even her name. The old man catches on. "Oh, you didn't know her." He finds his hands oddly interesting at this moment.</p><p>"She gave me up when I was born, never heard from her." Landon confesses. "She didn't want to keep me." </p><p>"Don't blame yourself dad, you couldn't have known." Clarke adds in.</p><p>"I'm sorry she didn't have the courage to have you. I'm sure your adoptive family loved you!" The man included in. His so called smile drops to a frown when he sees the three boys stand there stiffly. "What?" He asks, looking between the three.</p><p>"Landon was in and out of foster care, he was never adopted. That's how we met, in our last foster home before-" Rafael cuts himself off.</p><p>The balding old man looks saddened. "I didn't know."</p><p>"Don't bother, it's fine, really. If I was adopted, I wouldn't have met my brothers." He places a hand on each of his brother's shoulders, offering them a somewhat sincere smile. </p><p>"I'm glad you found a brother in the system. It probably wasn't easy." The man's heart aches for his child.</p><p>"So, why are you in a holding cell this time?" The older boy asks. "DUI? Or did you get busted for urinating in a public area after dark again?" </p><p>The father snorts, "neither, I got in a bar fight with some kid who thought tonic water was vodka." The man laughs. The three boys can't fight the laugh that comes upon them. Laughing at how stupid that sounds. "No, seriously, it happened. The guy is truly an idiot."</p><p>Clarke bails his father out, offering to take him out to dinner, "dinner's on me, don't worry." Clarke says to the three. The group head out of the station, into Clarke's truck and off to Buffalo Wild Wings.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Tired</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sobriety feels like hell to Hope. Three days have passed since she was released, and it's miserable. Hope has locked herself in her room, not coming out for food or water, not even to use the bathroom. No showers, no brushed teeth, no nutrition. Her stomach hurts but she doesn't care. Josie has tried to stop by to see her but Hope faked sleeping so she would leave her be. Alaric surprisingly showed up to her room once a day to check in on her.</p><p>Landon is supposed to come back Monday, Hope is getting her hopes up. She's not excited to see him, only excited to get high. She knows she starts therapy today, but doesn't have the energy to attend the session. Lucky to her, Alaric got a traveling therapist, which means Hope doesn't have to leave the school.</p><p>"Hope?" Josie enters Hope's room without knocking, bringing Hope out of her thoughts. Hope instinctively goes to a sleeping position, even though she knows Josie already saw her eyes open. "You need to eat something, it's nearly four in the afternoon." Josie's voice is always so soft and kind, even when she's angry.</p><p>Hope sits up, not trying to fake sleeping this time. "I'm not hungry." Her voice is raspy. She is tired, considering all she has been doing is sleeping and thinking. </p><p>Josie stands there, crossing her arms and pouting, a signature look. "Bullshit. I know you haven't left your room since you came back. You need to eat." Josie makes a disgusted expression, "and most definitely a shower. Now come on, get up." Josie approaches Hope and grabs her arm to pull her up.</p><p>The shorter girl gave in, standing up and letting Josie lead her out of her room. She takes mental notes on what is going on. Josie grabbed her shower bag, including her toothbrush and toothpaste. Josie stops them in front of the communal bathroom door. "Shower, now." Josie hands her the bag, slipping her teeth care products in. </p><p>Hope takes the bag, reluctantly going into the bathroom. Hope hangs the bag on one of the many hooks in the shower. She turns the water on and lets it heat up as she undresses and brushes her teeth. Hope takes a long look at herself in the mirror. She knows if her dad was alive he would be sad seeing her like this, slimmer, more pale, and dark bags under her eyes. Hope finishes with her moment and brushes her teeth again and goes back to her now heated up shower.</p><p>Nearly 30 minutes pass in the shower before Josie enters the bathroom. "Hope, you good?" Josie asks, she makes sure she stays behind a wall to give Hope some extra privacy. Hope turns the shower off. Josie being the kind person she is, goes to the clean towel rack and grabs Hope two towels. "Here." She reaches her arm around handing Hope the towels. </p><p>Hope wraps herself in one of the towels, using the second one to dry her hair. "Thank you." Hope speaks up, giving Josie the clear to move out from behind the wall.</p><p>"Sure smells better in here." Josie makes a sniffing sound and laughs. She smiles at Hope. The older girl looks more awake and aware. Josie knows she's letting her eyes linger a little too low but doesn't care at this moment. Just seeing the girl alive and somewhat ok means the world to Josie.</p><p>"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Hope comments, trying to force a smile. Josie snaps back to reality. The two stand there in silence as Hope attempts to brush through her messy semi-dry hair. Josie watches her as the girl washes her face over the sink. Happy to see Hope taking initiative in some self-care. She can't help but smile.</p><p>"Ok, now go back to your room and get dressed, meet me in the cafeteria, you are going to eat whether you like it or not." Josie demands, leaving Hope alone in the bathroom. Hope smiles once Josie leaves. No one has taken care of her like this in a very long time. It feels good to have someone care about her.</p><p>---</p><p>"Did you get Godzilla out of her room?" Lizzie asks when Josie enters their room. Lizzie is doing some catch up homework since they got the week off.</p><p>"Wow, doing homework on a Saturday?" Josie comments.</p><p>Lizzie shoots  daggers at Josie for the statement. "I have nothing going on today, so I might as well get caught up on some extra school work. Now answer my question."</p><p>"I got her in the shower." Josie says. Lizzie's eyes go wide, giving Josie a weird look. Josie is confused by the look and instantly gets where her sister's mind went. "Oh no! Lizzie, it wasn't like that!" Josie's cheeks turn bright red. Lizzie hums out a "mhm" which only makes Josie roll her eyes. "Okay, I'm leaving this conversation."</p><p>---</p><p>Josie enters the cafeteria, spotting Kaleb and MG sitting around at a table talking and laughing. She looks around trying to spot Hope, nothing yet. While looking around, she accidently spots Penelope looking her way. Against her wishes, Penelope walks over towards her. </p><p>"Hi." Penelope says once she gets to Josie.</p><p>"What do you want?" Josie asks as nicely as she could to her ex.</p><p>"What? I can't say hi to you anymore? I just wanted to see if you're doing ok with all things considered." Penelope states with some malice to her voice.</p><p>"With all things considered you, mean Hope?" Penelope nods her head. "I'm doing great, better than ever." Josie emphasizes 'better' to get under Penelope's skin. She sees that it worked when the raven haired girl shifts her position.</p><p>"I'm guessing you have made Hope your new play toy?" Words cut like knives.</p><p>Josie scoffs, offended by the word choices. "There is nothing wrong with helping a friend through a rough patch." She folds her arms.</p><p>"Yea, okay, sure. Like this is 'a rough patch' for her." </p><p>"We are not going to argue over this shit again." Josie walks away towards her friends who were watching her and Penelope.</p><p>"What was going on over there?" Kaleb asks.</p><p>"Penelope being Penelope." MG adds in for Josie. Josie smiles at him. "So, is Hope going to join us for dinner this time or?"</p><p>"Hopefully, I told her to meet me here when she got dressed." Josie doesn't think about her word choices until her friends give her a confused look. "Not you guys too!"</p><p>"Get dressed? What did you do to the poor girl?" Kaleb asks while stifling a laugh.</p><p>"Nothing! I got her to take a shower," she hurries in finishing her sentence before her friends finish it for her, "no I didn't shower with her!" She's starting to think she should play football with all this defense she seems to be having to do.</p><p>MG and Kaleb shoot each other a knowing look. "Are you crushing on her again?" MG asks as kindly as he can.</p><p>Josie is shocked by the question, lucky for her Hope approaches the table before she could give him an answer. "Hi." Hope says once she sits down oddly close to Josie.</p><p>MG and Kaleb greet her with words while Josie greets her with a smile. "We'll go grab the food, assuming the pizza is here." Kaleb says, grabbing MG's arm. MG muffles something.</p><p>"Sorry I took forever, I was debating whether or not to come. My bed was calling my name." Hope tries to joke.</p><p>"Glad you made the better choice." Josie's smile hasn't dropped.</p><p>The boys return to the table with some pizza. "Josie we got you two slices of veggie pizza, Hope, you okay with meat lovers?" MG asks.</p><p>"Sure." Hope takes the paper plate from Kaleb. <br/> <br/>They all eat their food, chat off and on between bites. MG and Kaleb leave the two again to go get seconds for everyone. "Thank you for eating." Josie thanks Hope.</p><p>"Eating surprisingly made me feel better." Hope smiles at Josie.</p><p>Josie takes a deep breath, anxious about what she's about to say, "so Landon comes back Monday." She lets that hang out for a minute. She tries to gage Hope's reaction, "please do not go back to pills." Her voice breaks. </p><p>Hope sits there, eyes narrow, no true facial expression. "I can't make any promises."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Shine A Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What do you mean?" Josie frowns. Wishing to never see Hope like that ever again. All she wants to do is pull Hope into a hug and never let her hurt herself again. </p><p>Hope avoids eye contact. Focusing on calming her shaking hands down. She doesn't want to hurt anyone and she doesn't mean to hurt herself, but the drugs are what make her feel like living and thriving. </p><p>MG and Kaleb return to the table empty handed. "No more pizza for us." MG pouts, clearly upset about the lack of pizza available to him. "Why ain't Lizzie here?" He asks Josie, wondering why the twin isn't sharing dinner with them.</p><p>Josie chuckles dryly, "she hates pizza days, she thinks the pizza they get is gross and greasy." She keeps her eyes on Hope who is still avoiding any interaction.</p><p>"Oh. I can go get her something else to eat if she wants?" MG enthusiastically questions. </p><p>"She would love that. Get her Chick-Fil-A or something." Kaleb adds. "I kinda want Chick-Fil-A now." He loses focus on the group. "MG, get up, we are going to get chicken." He stands up, grabbing MG's arm, dragging him along. </p><p>Josie lets out a happy giggle. Her friends are such dorks and she loves it. "Hope?" She attempts to get the girls attention. "Don't you have a therapy appointment?" She asks, spotting an unfamiliar face standing in the main door of the cafeteria. </p><p>Hope snaps her head up, nearly giving herself whiplash. She moans in disapproval. Therapy has never crossed her mind, thinking all they do is play mind games to make you think you are getting better. She gets up and walks towards the woman at the door, leaving Josie without any goodbye. </p><p>Josie sighs, nervous about Hope's recovery. She pulls out her phone to shoot Landon and Rafael a group text telling them she needs to speak with them the second they come back to the school. The two boys text her back a thumbs up emoji. </p><p>---</p><p>The therapist followed Hope to the back of the school on a bench on the border of the woods. "Why here?" The woman asks. </p><p>Hope lets out a shaky nervous breath, "I find trees comforting."</p><p>"Are you nervous about this session?" The golden skinned woman questions, trying to get some helpful answers to better understand the teenager. Hope just nods her head, to the older woman's surprise. "Thank you for the honesty. There is nothing to be nervous about. Before we get started, I'm Ms. Tig but you can call me Emma if that would make you more comfortable." Emma smiles at Hope.</p><p>"So what do we do here? Talk about the mess I have made of my life?" Hope blurts out. </p><p>"If you want to, yes. I'm here to listen, give some advice if you wish." Emma's smile stays.</p><p>"I don't know where to start." Hope confesses.</p><p>"We can start with what happened over the weekend? What led up to the event on Monday?" Emma pulls out a notepad.</p><p>Hope's heart rate spikes. The site of the notepad makes her feel guilty. "I don't want to talk about that. I'm not proud of that." She looks back down at her hands, which are still shaking.</p><p>"That's alright. Can I ask you something about that day?" Emma tests the water with the question. Hope nods, knowing her voice will crack if she says one little word. Emma catches on, just looking at the young girl. "Was it really an accident?" </p><p>Hope freezes. She still doesn't know what happened. She knows what happened, but doesn't know why she did it. "I don't know."</p><p>Emma jots that down in her notepad. "What does that mean to you? Why do you think you don't know?" The pen in her hand ready to write.</p><p>"It means I don't know. I just-" Hope croaks, she wants to cry so bad but doesn't want to be vulnerable.</p><p>"Okay, do you want to talk about your family?" She questions, wanting to know more about the girl before she presses into more touching topics. Little did she realize, family was a touchy topic.</p><p>"My parents are dead." Hope says bluntly, hurt in her voice.</p><p>"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you miss them?" Emma writes down what she hears in the girl's voice.</p><p>"I do. I miss spending time with my dad when he was around. I miss seeing my mom."</p><p>"Was your dad never around?"</p><p>"Not really. He wasn't around much my entire life, he was usually out of town. My mom was usually out with my uncle or her boyfriend before she died. I spent more time with my grandma before she died." Hope swears her heart is aching.</p><p>"You have experienced a lot of loss in your life. I'm sorry to hear that." Emma is starting to understand why this girl did what she did. "What about your other family? You mentioned an uncle?" </p><p>"I have two uncles and three aunts if you count my aunt's wife. I'm not close with them." Hope hates this. She hates over sharing and feels like that is what she is doing right now.</p><p>"Do you feel abandoned?" Emma presses.</p><p>"Not really, I mean they all have their own lives. I don't blame them for not being around much." Hope shrugs her shoulders. She understands why her family members aren't actively in her life. The fact that none of them cared to text her after her incident on Monday hurts her but she doesn't hold out hope for her family. </p><p>Emma writes down that she is in denial. She is clearly affected by her family. "I think this was a good session. I hate to cut this short, but you need some time to digest some things." She offers Hope a sincere smile. Hope doesn't smile back, she just nods her head and leaves Emma alone on the bench.</p><p>---</p><p>Josie has spent all night hanging with MG, Kaleb and Jed, listening to them write more songs and test some lyrics. She wants to go check on Hope so bad, but knows she should probably let her be. </p><p>"Josie?" Jed asks, bringing her back to their world. Josie hums curiously, not aware of what is going on. "What did you think of that verse?" Jed asks again.</p><p>"Oh, uh-" She trails off, she didn't comprehend anything. </p><p>Jed and the boys laugh, not at her but at the situation. "She's not listening to us." MG says.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Josie pouts.</p><p>"Nah, don't worry about it, just go see Hope since we all know that is who you are thinking about." MG gives her a smirk.</p><p>Josie debates going but decides in the end she should go check on Hope. "Alright, I'll see you guys later." She stands up and waves goodbye as she leaves to go see Hope. On her way down the hall she runs into Penelope. </p><p>"Where are you in a rush to?" Penelope asks with attitude.</p><p>"That is none of your business." Josie snaps back.</p><p>"Going to see Hope?" Penelope guesses correctly.</p><p>Josie looks down, embarrassed. Her not answering gives Penelope some satisfaction. Has she really become this predictable? Josie doesn't say anything and tries to walk away. </p><p>"You know she's a lost cause." Penelope says just in earshot of Josie as she walks away. "You're going to get hurt."</p><p>Josie wants to stop and say something back but she can't find the energy or focus to say anything back. Opting into walking further away towards Hope's room. </p><p>---</p><p>"I don't want to talk about this tonight Josie." Hope states, curled up in her bed. </p><p>"I know you don't but we do need to talk about this sooner rather than later." Josie states.</p><p>"I don't believe in promises." Hope makes eye contact.</p><p>"What?" Josie is perplexed. How does someone not believe in promises?</p><p>"I don't. Promises are fake and full of lies, they are worthless." </p><p>"They aren't to me. I don't want to see you kill yourself again Hope. I don't know if I can handle seeing you nearly dead on that bed again." Josie nearly yells, anger taking over as she points to Hope's bed.</p><p>"How many times do I need to tell you! I didn't mean to do that!" Hope defends.</p><p>"Whether you intended to or not, it happened. You have a problem!" Josie returns with tear filled eyes.</p><p>"Why do you care so much about what I do, Josie?" Hope raises her voice a touch too loud, causing Josie to flinch.</p><p>"We were close once. Forgive me for being the only person to give a damn about you!" Josie instantly regretted saying that. Watching Hope's face drop stings, she knows she hit a nerve. "Hope, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."</p><p>"Forget it. Just leave." Hope sits up.</p><p>"I'm not leaving until you promise me to stay away from Landon." Josie shifts in her place.</p><p>"How can I do that when you're going to be hanging out with him?" Hope assumes that her and Josie are going to be around each other more.</p><p>Josie smiles at that. Her cheeks warm up to the thought that Hope wants her around more. "I can cut him off. I don't want to be around someone who feeds into someone's pain." </p><p>"I don't want to take you away from your friends." Hope gets shy.</p><p>"Landon is only my friend because we are friends with Raf. I hate that he is hurting you this way. How did you even get involved with pills?" Josie gets nervous asking that question. She really doesn't want to hear about how she got into drugs, but she lets her curiosity take over.</p><p>Hope sighs, "all I remember is him splitting a pill with me at lunch, he told me it would make me forget." </p><p>This stings, already knowing he was feeding off her pain, but hearing that from the victim irks her. "Are you serious?" She snaps. "He knew you were hurting, and he fed off that! There are so many other kids who want to get high and party and have a good time but he choses a wounded girl to sell to? I'm going to kill him." </p><p>"Josie, calm down, it's not all his fault. I gladly accepted his offer. Don't blame him for trying to make someone feel better." Hope gets off her bed to comfort Josie. She reaches her hand out to place it on Josie's shoulder.</p><p>Josie leans into the touch, it's comforting. "He wasn't trying to make you feel better. He is a worm trying to make money off someone. He is causing more harm than good." </p><p>Hope doesn't think twice about this move, but she pulls Josie in for a hug. She thinks it's to make Josie feel better, but to be honest, it's to make herself feel better.</p><p>"I can't let you kill yourself." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For those of you who don't know, I do read the comments, I just don't reply. I am an addict. I am writing this based off my own experiences.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Ghost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hope is having a hard time keeping away from Landon. The pain she is physically in from the withdrawals is killing her. Thanks to Josie, she got up early and actually ate something first thing  in the morning. It was only a banana and a yogurt but it was still something. </p><p>Morning classes go by quick. Teachers and students all are surprised Hope made a special appearance. She had one class with Josie luckily, this made Hope feel ten times better. Now it's lunch, Hope isn't hungry in the slightest but knows Josie is going to make her eat something. </p><p>"Hey Hope." Lizzie greets here with a smile.</p><p>Hope smiles back. She does a quick look around the room trying to spot Landon. She spots him and Raf hanging by a table in the corner. Landon makes eye contact. He too smiles at her here. It's a small shy smile but it was something. Hope makes a move to get up, but before she can Josie arrives.</p><p>"Don't even think about it." Josie sternly says. "I know where you were going, and not to be controlling, but no."</p><p>Hope sits back down and slouches in her seat. Josie hands her a sandwich and a fruit cup. Hope really doesn't want to eat but knows if she doesn't Josie will more than likely stab her. So she ends up eating most of the sandwich and the fruit cup. </p><p>"Wow, Hope eating?" MG teases. "Some things do change."</p><p>"Shut up MG!" Lizzie smacks his arm.</p><p>"Ow! I was just kidding! Mostly." He laughs off the stinging in his arm.</p><p>Lunch concludes and they all go their separate ways. Hope is the last to head out, lucky for her, Landon too is staying behind. Looks like he hasn't finished his food yet. Hope  looks around to see if Josie is lurking behind before she crosses the room to Landon.</p><p>"Welcome back." She speaks up, breaking his attention from his food to her. </p><p>"Hope! Jesus." He nearly chokes on his food. "I can't be seen around you."</p><p>"I know, but she's not here." Hope stays quiet for a moment, "So?" She questions knowingly.</p><p>Landon knows what she is intending. He shakes his head. He knows he shouldn't give her anything, but he takes one look at her pale face and knows she needs some kind of fix. "Okay, fine, on one condition." He caves in. "You only get one pill at the time. I'm not risking you overdosing again, alright?" </p><p>"Really?" She groans, she was kind of hoping for one or two pills. Landon gives her a look, she doesn't know what the look means but she has a feeling he might be annoyed or unsure. "Fine." </p><p>Landon reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a sandwich size plastic bag full of different kinds of pills. "Here." He takes out a handful and drops three pills in her hand. "This is the only time I'm being nice." He puts the bag back into his pocket and stands up to leave. "Please for the love of God, don't let Josie see or know, I want to survive my senior year." </p><p>Hope stares at the three odd shaped chalk like pills in the palm of her hand. She lingers in the cafeteria for a minute before she remembers that she has class.</p><p>---</p><p>The week flies by. Hope spent most of her time after classes hanging with Josie in the twin's room. Once or twice Lizzie stayed back to hang out. It was nice, having friends. Hope felt guilty most of the time. Right after she left their room she split one of the pills. It was never enough to get her comfortably high but it was enough to keep the withdrawals away.</p><p>Every night she did this. Taking what she felt like she needed. Her therapy was going good. Giving Ms. Tig what she wanted to hear. Hope wasn't outing her entire heart this time. Lucky for her, Dr. Saltzman forgot about the drug tests he was supposed to administer every day. She wasn't aware he was supposed to till Emma accidently mentioned it in her session.</p><p>Later that night, Josie decided to show up to Hope's room. "Hey." She said as she let herself in.</p><p>"Thought we weren't hanging out till the party tomorrow?" Hope asks. Seems like there is a party every week now. </p><p>"Yea, I'm just bored and decided, hey let's go be bored with the company of someone else." Josie jokes. Hope scoots over in her bed, making more room for Josie. Josie smiles and plops down on the bed next to Hope. Hope is sitting up, writing something on a paper. "What are you writing?" Josie wants to look but knows that would be invading her friends' privacy.</p><p>"It's some stupid assignment Ms. Tig wants me to write before our session Monday." </p><p>Josie is curious, "what is it about?" She asks, trying not to pry as much.</p><p>"My family trauma." Hope ever so nicely states. </p><p>Josie gets uncomfortable. From the naked eye it seemed like Hope had a good life back home, but what does Josie know? Hope sees that Josie is uneasy about this topic so Hope pockets it. Putting the pen and paper away on the floor. </p><p>"How are you doing with therapy anyways?" Josie asks.</p><p>"It's going fine. Did you know your dad is supposed to be drug testing me every day?" Hope blurts out. </p><p>Josie shifts, she did know but didn't know her dad didn't let Hope know. "You didn't know? Haven't you been getting tested?"</p><p>Hope scoffs, "no, I haven't." Thankfully.</p><p>Josie shoots up, sitting up so quick she almost hits Hope off the bed. "Are you serious!" Josie exclaims, she's very mad at her dad now. "My dad is supposed to be doing that!"</p><p>"Yea, well he isn't."</p><p>"I'd love to hang out right now but I need to go yell at my father real quick, see you at breakfast. Night Hope." Josie is gone in a flash.</p><p>---</p><p>"I just thought she might need some time to readjust and cope with the withdrawals or something." Alaric attempts to brush it under the rug.</p><p>"And this is how she OD's again! Dad, it's supposed to be uncomfortable. We need to know she's ok!" Josie is beyond angry. Her dad is back to the same ole guy he was before the incident. "Just as I thought you learned from this. You haven't" Josie is more disappointed than angry now. </p><p>"Honey, it's not that big of a deal. I talked with her aunt and she agrees with my decision. Therapy is all Hope needs right now, she doesn't need more on her plate right now. The stress of making up some tests and school work."</p><p>"Again with the excuses! Hope's family doesn't care! Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who cares about her!" Josie starts to feel her eyes burn with tears.</p><p>"Does Hope want to be tested everyday?" Alaric asks, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Josie scoffs, "of course she doesn't, what addict wants to be?"</p><p>"If she's serious about her recovery, then yea, I do believe she would."</p><p>Josie takes a deep breath trying to calm herself. "Hope doesn't want to get better. For all I know, she could be hunting La-" She cuts herself off there. </p><p>"Who? Josie?" Alaric sits up, seems like he's now interested in what Josie has to say.</p><p>"Never mind. Just forget it, I'm going to go to bed." Josie heads towards the door. Stopped by her dad.</p><p>"If you know anything about what happened, I need to know." He says. Josie rolls her eyes and leaves the room.</p><p>---</p><p>Friday night comes sooner than anyone anticipated. Everyone is excited about getting drunk and doing stupid things all night. Except Josie, she's anxious about Hope being there. She wants Hope to enjoy things and all, but doesn't want her to go back down that road again. </p><p>Everyone meets up at the Old Mill once the sun is down. Kaleb and Jed were pouring everyone drinks. Landon and Rafael shock everyone by joining them. "Hey guys." Raf speaks up.</p><p>"Hey, nice of you guys to join is since you've been back." Jed teases.</p><p>Landon throws Josie a look. Josie knows her friends want to hang out with Landon and all and she hates that she is trying to keep him from Hope. She keeps telling herself it's for Hope's own good.</p><p>Hope arrives shortly after everyone catches up with Raf and Landon about their week  in Texas. "Hey." Josie smiles as Hope stands oddly close to her. </p><p>"The third wonder twin has arrived." Jed says.</p><p>Kaleb hits Jed's head. "Idiot, twins are a set of two." Everyone laughs, even gets a chuckle out of Hope. "Hope, want a drink?"</p><p>Josie glares at Kaleb for asking. "Sure." Hope accepts the offer.</p><p>Kaleb gets her a bottle of beer, "something light." He says as he hands her the beer. Josie is thankful he got her a beer and nothing stronger.</p><p>"So, what are we doing tonight?" Lizzie asks.</p><p>"We should play truth or dare." Penelope interrupts, showing up out of nowhere.</p><p>Josie groans, luckily only Hope heard, she spots Hope smiling out of the corner of her eye. "No, that's a child's game, we should play never have I ever!" Lizzie says energetically. Everyone agrees with that game. They swipe a few bottles and cups and go out deeper into the woods outside the party. </p><p>"I'll start." Penelope says.</p><p>"We have to state the rules first." Lizzie snaps, sass to her voice. Penelope just rolls her eyes. "So do we all know how to play?" Almost everyone nods, "for those who don't, you take a shot if it is something you have done. We will go clockwise. Yes, Satan can start." </p><p>Penelope sits up and smiles. "Never have I ever gotten high." She starts the game off. Everyone tenses at the question knowing who she is shooting it towards. </p><p>Hope, MG, Kaleb and Jed take a shot. Josie doesn't like where this is going. "Don't you need to take a shot too Pen?" Jed asks. </p><p>"What? No." She tries to play innocent. </p><p>"But we kinda...." He trails off. </p><p>Josie looks at the two of them. "Next person." Penelope says, looking at MG.</p><p>"Never have I ever skipped class." MG lightens the game up.  Everyone takes a shot, besides himself. "What are you guys serious?" His voice cracks, the whole group bursts out into laughter. "This game is dumb." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Heart Of The Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The game goes on for a few more rounds, everyone kept it tame for the most part. Everyone slightly drunk, the party can be heard faintly behind them. Josie is more comfortable with some alcohol in her system. Hope seems happier now, given that she too is buzzed, possibly drunk.</p><p>"Okay, let's play something else, this is getting boring." Lizzie complains, slurring unknowingly. She is swaying, given that she has taken more shots than everyone. </p><p>Josie chuckles at her sister, typical for her to get bored of something quickly, surprised she has put up with this game for as long as she has. Everybody looks around at each other, waiting for someone to come up with an idea, no one wants to leave the circle. Clearly they are all enjoying their time right now.</p><p>"What about 21 questions?" Rafael asks, "just putting that out there." He takes a sip of beer.</p><p>Penelope seems way too eager to play the game, "yes that sounds amazing. What are the rules?" </p><p>"Oh! If someone doesn't want to answer the question, they have to take a shot." Jed announces. "Are we going to do a question for everyone to answer or direct at one person?" He asks.</p><p>"If the question is up in the air for anyone to answer, what's the point of doing shots?" Kaleb mentions.</p><p>"Who wants to start it?" Josie squeaks out, seeming a bit nervous. With Penelope in the mix, this can go dark quick.</p><p>"I'll start." Lizzie jumps in. "Penelope, did you have bad intentions when you targeted my sister?" She shoots a smirk the girls way. </p><p>Penelope sits more upright, ready to defend herself. "No." She snaps.</p><p>Lizzie makes a noise, scoff like noise, but not quite. "Yea, okay." The blonde rolls her eyes. Not believing anything that comes out of that girl's mouth.</p><p>"Josie." Penelope directs her eyes to her ex, "do you believe I "targeted" you?" She raises an eyebrow.</p><p>Josie shifts in her spot, she looks over to Hope for some reason. Maybe for some support, but Hope shrugs her shoulder. The younger girl sighs, "at the time, no, but now?" She redirects the question. Penelope slumps back down. She knows exactly what Josie meant, she got her answer.</p><p>"Jed, did you sleep with Penelope?" Josie takes everyone by surprise with that question.</p><p>He looks around with eyes wide, "why?" He stutters. </p><p>"Ah, got to take a shot now man, you didn't answer." Kaleb laughs.</p><p>"What no! Josie didn't really answer hers!" Jed refuses. "This is sexist." He pours himself a shot and stares at the cup, eventually downing the shot.</p><p>"Hope, how are you feeling tonight?" Jed questions Hope, who is not tuned in. </p><p>Hope jerks her head up, a puzzled expression written all over her face. "What?" Josie is starting to worry about Hope again. Hope only tuned out like this when she was high. Maybe it's the alcohol that is affecting her.</p><p>"Are you having a good time, the alcohol making you feel good?" He re-words the question. </p><p>Hope looks to Josie for help. Josie too wants to know if Hope is having a good time. "I guess so." Hope answers.</p><p>"Good! You deserve it." Jed smiles at her, relieved with that answer. He has heard something around school and within their group of friends, especially Landon. He never knew her too well, but he does feel bad for her.</p><p>"Your turn to ask the question, Hope." Lizzie adds, letting the girl know it's her turn without any attitude. </p><p>"Oh, uh." Hope starts to panic, she doesn't want to ask the wrong question and ruin everyone's time. "MG...?" She asks. He hums a response. "Are you planning on dropping those songs I heard about?" </p><p>MG lights up at the question, "yes! Kaleb and I are planning to release a mixtape, cliché, I know, but Jed is going to help us mix it and all, it's going to be amazing!" He smiles brightly, very happy with the question. </p><p>"I'll drink to that!" Jed raises a bottle up, everyone joins in and takes a swig of beer.</p><p>---</p><p>The questions carry on past 21, no one kept track. Everyone took turns asking questions and including one another. Penelope has another go at questioning. She has a mischievous look on her face, she points that look towards Josie once again, lucky for her, Josie doesn't pick up on the look. "Jo, are you aware that your little pet hasn't been honest with you?" </p><p>Josie is confused by the question. "What?" </p><p>"You know, Hope? Your little endeavor?" Penelope clears up her question, making it more known.</p><p>"What?" Josie asks again, "Hope, what is she talking about?" She turns to Hope, who is now looking everywhere but nowhere at the same time. "Hope?" Josie demands.</p><p>"Oh I take that as a no?" Penelope adds fuel to the fire.</p><p>"Hope, what is she talking about?" Josie is getting frustrated. </p><p>Landon interferes, "I've been giving her pills this week." He hesitates.</p><p>"You what!" Josie yells. "How can you do that to her again!" Josie quickly stands up.</p><p>"Hey, she came to me ok!" He attempts to defend. Rafael looks at him with disbelief, he was there too when Josie met up with them to have a conversation about Hope. </p><p>"Lan, are you serious?" Rafael had no idea his brother was still dealing to her.</p><p>No one was looking at Hope at this moment, so she took the opportunity to book it. She rushed out of that situation, back to the party. Josie attempted to follow her, but she was having a hard time keeping her footing. Regretting drinking as much as she did.</p><p>"Hope!" She attempts to call her out, but her voice is drowning in the crowd of kids and the music blasting. </p><p>---</p><p>"You sure do know how to ruin everything, don't you?" Lizzie says towards Penelope as she gets up to follow her sister. Everyone gets up to join Lizzie, leaving Penelope alone. </p><p>"What? We were just playing a game, she shouldn't have joined if she couldn't handle being questioned!" Penelope hollers back. "It's better than the other questions I had for you Lizzie!" The statement stops Lizzie in her tracks.</p><p>"What?" She snaps back.</p><p>"Oh you know, how you spread the rumors about her dad?" Lizzie looks at her confused. "You were mostly right about what happened, but a special someone got some information about the entire "accident."" She smirks at the blonde.</p><p>"I don't want to hear your lies." Lizzie actually does want to hear, she knows Penelope has some good researcher skills in her. </p><p>"Oh but you do. You see, your mom was killed by Hope's dad." Penelope deflates the details.</p><p>"Continue?" Lizzie is unsure. She doesn't know if she wants to hear the truth as to what happened.</p><p>"Hope's father was intoxicated behind the wheel, and offered to drive a very drunk blonde home, and well, as you know, she never got home." Penelope has a twisted smirk on her face. Lizzie turns to walk away, before she can take a step, Penelope adds in a few more details. "Hope's dad wasn't around much for her because he has an addiction. Oh, sorry, correction, he had an addiction." She emphasizes 'had'.</p><p>"What are you saying?" Josie asks, approaching behind Lizzie. Lizzie jumps at the sudden arrival of her sister.</p><p>"Addiction runs in the family." Penelope says with no emotion.</p><p>"Does Hope know?" Josie asks no one in particular.</p><p>"I don't think so. It's ironic isn't it?" Penelope smiles.</p><p>"You're a cold person." Lizzie says.</p><p>The twins are hurt by this newly found information. The rumors were true, Hope's dad did kill their mom. Clearly not on purpose, but he still ended someone's life. All the bullying towards Hope was wrong and she didn't deserve it, but hearing all this, it hurts. Hope isn't her dad, but finding out that her dad was an addict? Josie isn't sure what to do with this information.</p><p>Josie and Lizzie went straight back to their room after the confrontation with Penelope. Josie wants to go see Hope and talk about everything, but she knows Lizzie needs her right now, and she needs her. </p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Drugs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hope spends the night trapped in her own mind. She got back to her room and popped a full pill. Minutes later she regretted it, mixing with alcohol after an emotional night like this never ends well with her. Unfortunately, she only had that one pill left. She originally planned to split that pill and make it last till Sunday, but desperate times call for desperate measures.</p><p>The early hours of the day crawl on. She can feel every second of every minute. Sitting on her bedroom floor, eyes wide awake but fighting her. Sleep is calling out her name but she can't seem to hear it. Mind jumping from the events a few hours ago to how Josie is going to respond right back to how in Hell is Landon going to handle this?</p><p>---</p><p>Four a.m. creeps in. Hope can feel the bags under her eyes droop further down. The pills were supposed to shut her mind off, but instead they made her mind shift into overdrive. Her mind stutters for a split second when she hears, or thinks she hears, someone knocks on her door. The drugs have worn off by now she would think, so she gets up off the floor and answers her door. </p><p>It's Landon. He looks like a mess too. His eyes are red from no sleep, or crying, Hope can't tell the difference anymore. She feels like she's looking in the mirror. "Hey." He croaks out, yup, he is tired as can be.</p><p>"Hi?" Hope questions, surprised she can speak semi-clearly. She steps aside to let him into her room. It's too early in the morning for other students to hear them talk.</p><p>"I just wanted to come see how you were doing, I wasn't sure if Josie came over or not but I decided to give you guys some time before I came over. It's okay that I came over, right?" He would have rambled on if Hope didn't jump in on his pause.</p><p>"No, it's fine. Josie never showed up last night, or this morning, I don't know."</p><p>Landon takes some time to survey Hope's appearance. "Did you use?" He shocks her by the question, he knows because Hope has an offended look on her face. "I'm not judging." He raises his arms up.</p><p>"Yes I did. Did Josie send you to come check on me?" She raises her voice lightly.</p><p>"What? No, no one has talked to her since Penelope did a Penelope."</p><p>"Why did we let her join us?" Hope asks curiously.</p><p>"Old habits I guess?" He shrugs it off, "so Josie really didn't come by after everything happened?"</p><p>Hope shakes her head, dropping onto her bed. She should be hurt by this but she gets it, she's more angry at herself for letting Josie down.</p><p>"How are you doing, by the way?" He stays in the same spot he has been standing in since he entered her room.</p><p>"I'm fine. Really." She really does feel okay, just a little stunned but not anything too serious, so she thinks.</p><p>"If you were fine you wouldn't have used." He adds in.</p><p>"Like you have any room to talk." She added more snark then intended, but was very pleased with the delivery.</p><p>Landon was taken aback by her response. "What the hell does that mean?"</p><p>"Do you really expect me to believe this whole dealer persona? The nice shy guy who not so secretly sells prescription drugs to kids on campus is so sweet and innocent?" Hope has it out for him now.</p><p>"I never said I was innocent." He says with a flat tone and a straight face.</p><p>Hope scoffs, "oh come on, we all see it. Poor Landon, my life is so hard I sell dope to people to make my problems seem smaller than theirs."</p><p>"Excuse me? Last time I checked, you are the one with family issues, not me. I never had a family to begin with!" He snaps back.</p><p>"Oh really? You want to go down that road?" She stands up, somehow managing to keep her voice down. She walks closer to Landon. "At least you still have your dad." Landon's eyes go wide, how did Hope find out about his dad? Thankfully, he didn't need to press on that question. "Josie doesn't keep quiet." </p><p>"It's not like your dad was perfect." He argues.</p><p>"I know my family was never perfect, light years from it. At least your parents had the right idea to not screw you up themselves." She looks down at her bare feet.</p><p>"No they didn't get that chance, instead they left me in the system." He fights back any other hurtful things he planned to say.</p><p>Hope can't find anything to say to that. He does have a point. She has heard horror stories about the foster system, the many forms of abuse some kids had to go through. "I'm sorry." Hope chokes out.</p><p>"So I got some new stuff, I haven't gotten the chance to offer it to anyone but, if you want?" He lets the question linger on. Hope raises an eyebrow when he reaches into the pocket of his sweats. "It's stronger than what you're used to, but is it something you want to try?" </p><p>"What is it?" She asks.</p><p>Landon pulls some things out of his pocket. "Okay, so my brother hooked me up with two grams of cocaine." He looks up at Hope, gauging her reaction. </p><p>"What are you saying?" She is cautious, rightfully so. "What's the catch?"</p><p>"What? There is no catch, I was actually wondering if you'd want to try coke with me?" </p><p>---</p><p>Josie wakes up quite early in the morning. She checks her alarm clock to see the time, it's nearly five a.m. She opts into getting up, still hungover from the night prior. Knowing she needs to go talk to Hope before Penelope slithers her way in before she can, Hope needs to hear this from her, not Penelope. </p><p>The brunette throws a hoodie over her pajama top to cover the giant pug art on the front, ignoring the fact that her sleep pants have unicorns on them. She slips out of her room without waking Lizzie up and heads straight to Hope's room.</p><p>She softly knocks on the door, not wanting to wake up the entire hallway. The young girl waits nearly a minute for Hope to answer, but she doesn't. Josie decides to  just go in, knowing Hope doesn't lock her door.  Entering the room, she stops when she sees Landon chilling on oddly close to Hope on her bed. "Uh guys?" She asks, seeing Hope shoot straight up.</p><p>"Josie!" Hope pulls a blanket to cover herself with. "What are you doing up?"</p><p>Josie can't comprehend what she's seeing. "What is going on?" It's too dark in the room to see what is really going on but she could only imagine what is happening on that bed.</p><p>"It's not what you think." Hope says a little too fast, comes out as a slur of words mixing together. </p><p>"Well, it kind of is?" Landon jumps in.</p><p>"Shut up!" Josie and Hope both say in unison. </p><p>"Josie, it doesn't look like what I know you think it looks like." Hope speed speaks again.</p><p>"Hope slow down, I can't understand anything you are saying." Josie tries to calm Hope down as she tries to calm herself down.</p><p>Hope gets off the bed, bringing the throw blanket with her to keep her top half covered. "We were just making out, that's it." She turns to look at Landon, "all it will ever be." Glaring at him for trying to turn it into something it's not.</p><p>Josie takes a deep breath. "I was coming to check on you, but clearly, you're busy." She waves a hand in their direction, indicating what she walked in on. Hope turns back to look at Josie, begging her to stay through eye contact. Josie takes a second to get a good look at Hope. Her lips are red and swollen, her cheeks red and flushed, but her eyes look weird. Dark bags underneath them, telling Josie she didn't sleep at all, but the redness in the whites of her eyes are concerning. The red of the eyes don't worry her as bad as her pupils, which are beyond dilated. "Are you kidding me!" Josie is riled up, pissed with Landon.</p><p>"What?" Hope takes a step back, sensitive to the loudness of Josie's voice.<br/> <br/>"You are high! After everything?" </p><p>"It's my fault-" Landon jumps off the bed, trying to dial the fight down. </p><p>"You're damn right it is! Get out, now." Josie says calmly, despite wanting to rip his head off.</p><p>"Josie, don't overreact." Hope has slowed her speech a bit.</p><p>"Coming down I see." Josie states as she watches Landon stumble out of the room. </p><p>"Hope, why? I thought you wanted to get better?" Josie's voice has soothed out.</p><p>Hope sighs, "no, you wanted me to get better." That comment makes Josie's heart jump into hyper drive. </p><p>"Do you not want to get better?" Josie's heart is breaking, the truth is finally coming out.</p><p>Hope doesn't say anything else. The crash is coming in like a freight train. Hope loses almost all brain function, she suddenly forgot how to speak. The whole night into morning comes flowing in as quickly as it flooded out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry I took a while to get an update out, been busy and just not in it, took me 9 hours to write this while getting distracted by songs the entire time. Hope yall enjoy!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Death of Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joise manages to drag Landon out of Hope's room, nearly shutting the door on his face when he turns around in protest. Josie doesn't know what to do next. Standing angrily in Hope's room, facing the damaged girl, who is building her walls up higher. "Hope." She snaps towards the girl. </p><p>Hope doesn't respond, instead she just stares at Josie. Thinking about what to do or say next. She got busted once again. She starts to think she's not too good at lying. She crawls back onto her bed and cocoons herself in the blanket she was holding over herself. Everything has turned into a dumpster fire. Hope had it in her mind that nothing could get worse, but in fact it did. </p><p>"Hope, please talk to me." Josie calmed herself down. Attempting a different approach, maybe kindness and understanding will get her farther than anger and disappointment. "I'm sorry I blew up, okay? I just can't-" Choking on her words, she fights back some tears that are threatening her eyes. Emotions are going all over the place, she can't quite figure out which one is more dominant. "I care about you, I know I'm being selfish, but after everything?" </p><p>The girl in question is still silent. She hears every word Josie is saying to her, she too is trying to figure out her feelings, what the hell is going on right now?</p><p>Josie slowly steps towards Hope, she stops when she steps on Hope's shirt. Anger boils up in her veins once again, nearly sleeping with Landon? Hope has hit a new low Josie wish she would never hit. Screwing your dealer is never a good idea. "Why Landon?" Josie asks, her voice breaks finally.</p><p>Hope snaps her eyes onto Josie's. Regret hits her harder than any drug ever has, and she doesn't like it one bit. She watches the round of emotions cross Josie's eyes and the way she is holding herself. "I don't know, Jo." Hope slurs her speech. "I don't want to hurt you, I just wanted to feel something different and-" She gets cut off.</p><p>"And Landon just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?" Josie intercepts Hope's words. She knew Hope was going to say the right place at the right time, but she refuses to accept that Hope truly believes Landon of all people was the right choice.</p><p>"I don't have feelings for him. I did at one point when this all started but..." Hope trails off, coming down sucks. Chasing the high was always better and easier than coming off them. </p><p>"Do you ever want to get better? I know I want you to, I need to hear your side." Josie asks, painfully.</p><p>Hope attempts to take a deep breath, it's getting harder to do so. "I don't know." She answers truthfully. She honestly has no idea if sobriety is something she wants. The teenager always looked forward to one day going to college and attending parties and getting shit faced drunk, but now that does not seem like an option in her possible future. </p><p>"Elaborate on that, why don't you know?" Tears break through Josie's eyelids and slowly fall down her cheek.</p><p>Hope spots the tears, she can't lie to Josie when she is clearly fighting her vulnerability. "I used to like how I feel when I'm high, most of the time I did. Now it feels like I need something stronger to forget, or to just feel something other than pain." Hope is crying now, mimicking Josie's soft cries.</p><p>"Hope, there are other ways to cope." Josie sits down on Hope's bed, still warm from where Landon laid, the warmth disturbs her. She thinks for a second, all the times they hung out after Hope's overdose, the party, everything. "Were you high when we hung out those nights?" </p><p>Hope closes her eyes to conceal the tears that were about to explode out of her eyes. "A few times."</p><p>The news rips into Josie like a papercut. Josie doesn't hide the fact that this wounds her. "Are you serious?" She manages to keep her voice soft and semi-steady.</p><p>"I know! I was wrong to do it, I never wanted to hurt you." Hope opens her eyes, focusing on Josie helped her for a moment, but seeing her friend cry over her like this, it sucks.</p><p>"I think you might be better off in rehab."</p><p>---</p><p>Landon got back to his room after getting caught red handed. The early morning keeps getting worse when he sees Rafael is awake. "Oh no." He whispers to himself.</p><p>"Why do you look like a lost dog?" Raf says, looking up from his book.</p><p>"What?" Landon attempts to play stupid.</p><p>"You know what. Going to Hope's room didn't go as planned?" Raf's tone of voice is bitter. "I searched the stash, the little bit of coke you had is gone. Are you kidding me Lan?" His voice turned into hatred. "You're going to kill her, you know that? You are responsible for her now, whether you like it or not." </p><p>Landon knows Rafael is speaking facts. "I know, spare me the lecture." He waves off his brother, his head is starting to hurt. He never did any strong drugs before in his life, only weed and the occasional pill. Trying to rub the headache away isn't working, only making him more woozy. </p><p>Rafael watches Landon's actions, and tries to read him. He's pissed now. "Are you joking?" He speaks out. "You did it too? Are you stupid?"</p><p>"Can everyone stop calling me stupid please?" Landon defends.</p><p>Rafael scoffs. "Stop doing stupid shit and maybe that will change. I think it's time to tell Clarke you're not dealing for him anymore." Rafael states. He was never a fan of the deal Landon made with his sibling, he tried to be okay with it. He understands why Clarke is doing it, but he never agreed with Landon's decision to get involved with the business. </p><p>"What? No, I'm making good money dude, no way."</p><p>"Good money? Is it worth nearly killing someone at this school? Are you willing to go to jail, wait no, prison?" Rafael is proud of himself for calling him out.</p><p>"It's not going to come down to that." Landon is confident in his actions.</p><p>"Until something happens to Hope or someone else." Rafael is convinced that if Landon keeps going down this path it will lead him right into a jail cell.</p><p>"Are you threatening me?" Landon tries to sound tough. </p><p>"No, I'm just stating the truth, look at your father Lan. Dealing and getting involved with the wrong people landed him in prison, a federal prison. He's never getting out, do you want that?" </p><p>Landon rolls his eyes, dropping down on his bed. Talking to Raf right now is making his head hurt more. "I don't want to talk about this man, just drop it."</p><p>"No, I'm not going to drop it. You need a reality check." Rafael closes his book and heads towards the door. "I'm not going to be here for you if you keep doing this crap bro, I won't."</p><p>Landon ignores him, he heard everything his brother said to him, but he opts in keeping his mouth shut this one time.</p><p>"Whatever." Raf opens the door and slams it on his way out.</p><p>---</p><p>Noon comes sooner than Josie would like, she doesn't want to go behind Hope's back. Talking to her dad about sending her to rehab is going to be complicated. She works up the nerve to enter her dad's office, hoping he's in there. Josie opens the door slowly, now she's wishing he isn't here.</p><p>"Josie?" Alaric asks, confused as to why the door is creaking. His door creaks when it is being moved slowly. He has been wanting to oil the hinges but has never gotten around to it.</p><p>"We need to talk." </p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Rehab</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Weeks pass by, classes carry on, as do the rumors. With Hope being gone, Penelope took the chance to start telling anyone who will listen about Hope and her dad. Most people think she is lying about the story. They believe her until they do their own research based on Penelope's references. Everything is clicking. The rumors are true, Hope's dad did kill the twins mom. </p><p>"Josie? Why do you support Hope knowing what her father did?" That same question, worded differently by other classmates, keeps finding Josie's ears. It's irritating, I can't judge someone based on their parents. </p><p>Josie has been having a hard time with being bombarded with questions about Hope, Klaus, and her mother. It'd be a lot easier if the accused person was here to defend herself. Instead, all Hope has is Josie defending her. </p><p>Lizzie has been quite through it all, considering she was the one who started spreading the rumor about Klaus being a murderer. The young blonde wasn't proud of the drama spreading ways, but she is who she is. She loves drama, any drama that doesn't revolve around her is acceptable drama. Until her and Hope sort of became friends, thanks to Josie. Guilt set in once she got to know Hope a little bit. </p><p>Landon has been radio silent. Not talking to anyone, not even Rafael. No one is aware of the reason behind the two avoiding each other. The only people who know what happened a few weekends ago are Josie, Hope, Landon and Raf. </p><p>Rafael hasn't said a word about it to anyone, not even Josie. To his defense, he isn't aware of her knowledge of that morning. All he knows is that Landon is an idiot, which to be honest, everyone knew this fact. Landon left out a few damning details. He never really told Rafael the full story. He downplayed all of it, never letting too much slip out. Rafael hasn't said more than a sentence to the boy.</p><p>MG has been less hyperactive since the news broke that Hope has been sent to rehab. After that party, he thought that Hope was happy and clean, she appeared to be so. Finding out about the rumor being true via Penelope was the nail in the coffin for him. He doesn't hate Hope or anything, but he sure does have a ton of feelings to unpack and focus on at the moment. </p><p>Kaleb and Jed have been carrying on as usual. Being themselves, ignoring the drama. Occasionally working with MG, whenever the younger boy was in the mindset to work on music. Their stuff has been more deep and serious than what they're used to. Neither of the two care, deep music gets you far in this business. </p><p>Alaric has been cooped up in his office more. Dealing with the Hope situation, more cops have come by to speak with him about what is going on at this school. He feels like the state keeps sending them on these welfare check-ups trying to see if he will slip up. All these check-ups keep bringing more questions to the table. </p><p>The Mikaelson family is not invested in their youngest relative. They gave Alaric clear instructions to do whatever he deems necessary. Not wanting to take responsibility for Hope's actions to tarnish the family name anymore than it is. Freya wishes she could be there to support her niece, but she has her own family to worry about first. Doesn't help that her niece is miles away.</p><p>Now Hope on the other hand, she is pissed. Being forced into rehab after begging and pleading not to go. She's being sent off again like a package. It's a nice facility, seems expensive, but it's nicer than she thought. The nurses are great too. She has gotten to know two of them a bit since she was admitted. Confusion renders in her brain when she gets there. Why are there nurses and doctors all around the place? It's a rehab center not an emergency room.</p><p>---</p><p>"Hey Hope, how are you feeling today?" A dark haired olive skinned nurse creeps into Hope's room too early in the morning. </p><p>Hope grumbles into her pillow, the withdrawals have weathered her down. She read in an article that withdrawals don't last too long, but it's been nearly three weeks and she feels like they're getting stronger. </p><p>"Hope, I'm not playing that game today. You have a schedule you need to stick to or else." The woman demands.</p><p>"Or else? Really a threat here?" Hope snaps back, her typical morning snark. She hates it here, everyone knows that. </p><p>The woman rolls her eyes. "It's not a threat towards you. If you miss these visits, I get in trouble. I would love to keep my job, so get up." </p><p>---</p><p>The days in here drag on, Hope has never wished to be back at school until now. It's her senior year after all, graduating would be nice. Hope has a feeling she might not get the opportunity to graduate this year since she got shipped off to rehab.</p><p>Attending the routine breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. There are no snacks in between, mainly because this is a multi-purpose rehab facility. They treat anyone with any sort of problems. Hope met a girl who is in here because she has Bulimia, another young man is in here due to aggression issues, and a few others for a number of reasons.</p><p>Daily doctor visits and shrink visits are draining. Maybe that's the point? Mentally drain everyone in here to make them better. If they're too tired from the constant visits then it'll  make them forget about why they are there? Yea, no thanks.</p><p>---</p><p>Josie has not visited Hope in the three weeks since she has been in rehab. It's only a 90 day treatment plan, so Josie can wait till Hope gets released. She doesn't even know if she could go even if she wanted to. Who knows what rules they have in place. Lizzie wants to make a comment about Josie's lack of drive to see Hope. Ever since Josie saw Hope use for the first time a few months back, that's all that was on Josie's mind. Everything was about Hope, it would come off as cute and all but fast-forwarding a week or two, it turned into something opposite of that. </p><p>MG has made a few remarks about how close Josie and Hope have gotten before Hope left. Especially when Hope OD'd, Josie went into overdrive with her need to be near Hope. MG was inspired by the act and wrote a song about the two. He has no gaydar, so he's been told, but he has a feeling about these two. The way they look at each other, how loyal and caring Josie is toward what people call a lost cause. How Hope was leaning on Josie's shoulder through all these harder times. It was sweet.</p><p>"So, any plans to go see your girlfriend?" Kaleb asks Josie. The group still has their weekly study sessions, minus two.</p><p>"What?" Josie is confused, focused on doing her chemistry homework.</p><p>"You know, your girlfriend who is currently not here?" Jed adds in.</p><p>Josie glares at Jed for the comment. Kaleb is glad she didn't hear his question now, he hates being on the receiving end of that signature Josie death glare. If looks could kill, Josie's would dig your grave.</p><p>"I'm not going to go see her, she needs this time away to forget about us, and focus on her." She goes back to doing her homework, she hates not seeing her but knows it's probably for the better.</p><p>"Oh that's a crock of shit." Lizzie jumps in. "You can't believe that. Hope, not needing you? That's a funny joke Josie, even for you." Lizzie smiles at her sister.</p><p>"Oh can you all give it a break? Hearing about your theories about her and I, there is nothing there." Josie's voice changes when she says the last part, "nothings there". It pains her to know she will never be anything more than a friend to Hope. </p><p>Josie wasn't aware of how close she got to Hope until she found her nearly dead in her room. Something sparked in her. This need to take care of the older girl, the need to be there when she needs her, to be her person, someone she could count on. Now, being the reason Hope is in rehab, she knows she'll lose Hope, but if that means Hope can live and be happy, she'll take it.</p><p>Alaric bursts their bubble when he shows up like a vampire. "Josie, we need to talk." He asks, signally for her to follow him away from her group of friends.</p><p>Josie follows him a couple of feet away from her friends, "what?" She asks.</p><p>"Hope's going to be available for visitation starting Monday, would you like to be added to her list?"  He asks.</p><p>"Are they running that place like a prison? Visitation rights?" She is disturbed, how can that be beneficial?</p><p>"The first 21 days they ask that no one visits, gives the patient time to adjust and recover before they allow anyone to come see them." Alaric explains. </p><p>Josie thinks for a moment, does she want to see her? Yes, yes she does, it's killing her not to see or hear from Hope. "Yes, I do."</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Breathing Oxygen</h2></a>
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    <p>Josie is nervous. She hasn't seen Hope in three weeks. Guilt has made itself permanent in Josie's gut. Going behind her friends back, getting her sent to rehab. She knows it's for the better but still doesn't excuse the betrayal. Standing outside the doors, looking in, she just can't find the strength to walk in. Does Hope really want to see her? So many different thoughts swirl around Josie's head.</p><p>After a few minutes of thinking about how to get out of doing this, she walks in. "Hi, I'm here for Hope Mikaelson?" Josie manages to not slip up any of her words. The receptionist types away on his keyboard. Flash backs come flooding in, the day Hope overdosed, same image. Suddenly Josie doesn't regret getting Hope serious help.</p><p>The receptionist grabs the phone on his desk and calls someone, minutes later a nurse comes out. Josie is stunned, she knows this woman. "Follow me, Hope is ready to see you." The familiar woman smiles at Josie. </p><p>"Hey, sorry if this is weird, but do I know you?" Josie asks while she follows the slightly older woman down the hall.</p><p>The woman chuckles, "I was a friend of your mom." She then stops in front of a door. Josie peaks around the frame to see Hope. Hope looks miserable and good at the same time. Her physical appearance looks healthy but her eyes say otherwise.</p><p>Before Josie could say anything to the nurse, she's gone. Josie steps into Hope's room, taking in the site of her friend. "Hey." A shy smile creeps on her face.</p><p>Hope returns the smile, it's faint and seems painful, but it's a smile. "I thought you wouldn't come." Hope is fixated on the flesh around her nails. They look raw, like they have been through a lot in here. </p><p>"How are you doing?" Josie asks, kindly keeping her distance from the other girl.</p><p>"I'm alive, not sure if I'm living, but I am breathing." Hope forcefully chuckles. </p><p>Josie takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I know this is not what you wanted but, I couldn't see you destroy yourself."</p><p>Hope gets up off her bed and walks towards Josie. "Look," she looks down at Josie's shirt once she approaches her. "I get it, you followed your gut, I get that." </p><p>Josie is fighting tears, she knows Hope can't feel this way about the situation. "Don't lie to make me feel better."</p><p>Hope scoffs, "if I wanted to make you feel better I wouldn't have kept using." The honesty in her words slap Josie across the face. Hope does have a solid point.</p><p>"So how are things in here?" Josie glances around the bland and dull room, cleared out for safety reasons. </p><p>Hope follows her gaze, "it could be worse." She shrugs.</p><p>Something snaps in Josie and she pulls the shorter girl into a hug. The two stand there for a moment enjoying the physicals company of one another. </p><p>---</p><p>Landon has been spending all his free time with his biological brother. After Rafael shut him out and all his friends turned their backs on him, he has focused on his real brother. Getting more into the 'family business' is a challenge. Learning all the facts and key words to sell more high end products. </p><p>"Skipping school again?" Clarke asks. It's nine in the morning on a Tuesday, his brother should be in class. </p><p>"Yea, so?" Landon has an attitude this morning, Clarke thinks nothing of it.</p><p>"Okay, ready to get down to business then?" The older brother asks. Landon nods a 'yes'.</p><p>The two spend all day going over their game plan, going from what products Landon is ready for and what is coming up if he does well. Landon see's a future in this. Possibilities seem endless, with the summer abroad option being laid out on the table. He is thinking about dropping out of school and focus on his new career. </p><p>---</p><p>"Raf, hand me a pencil please?" Lizzie asks nicely. Rafael does as asked. No one has pressed him about the lack of Landon these days, mainly because everyone is relieved the drug slinger isn't here talking about how he didn't do anything wrong.</p><p>"Hey Lizzie? Where is Josie?" MG asks.</p><p>Lizzie takes a minute to comprehend what her friend just asked her. "Oh, she's visiting Hope."</p><p>Everyone's eyes grow wide, shooting each other knowing looks. "Oh is she now?" Kaleb teases, earning a slap to the back of his head by none other than Lizzie. </p><p>"She's just being a good friend alright guys? Josie wouldn't go for someone who is vulnerable unlike some people we know." Lizzie comments. One or two people nod their heads in agreement, while some others just rolls their eyes. </p><p>"Do you guys know when she will be released?" Raf asks.</p><p>"She has like two months left." Lizzie follows up, "she's probably going to miss graduation."</p><p>"She's going to miss a huge life achievement because some dickhead decided to get her into drugs?" Jed complains, "he really did ruin her life didn't he?" Jed directs his question to Rafael.</p><p>Rafael nods and gets up from their table. He leaves without a single word. "Sensitive topic I guess." Kaleb states the obvious.</p><p>---</p><p>After the nightly routine the nurses have to do, Hope is finally left alone. She's happy, for the first time since she got to this place she's happy. Getting to see Josie today brightened her day. The therapist here thinks Josie is more like a sister to Hope, but Hope isn't quite sure of that. Mixed feelings shuffling around in her belly. </p><p>She doesn't know why but when she see's Josie her stomach flutters. When Josie smiles her heart sinks. When she makes Josie laugh something pangs in her chest, she used to think it was anxiety. Something she is learning a lot about is how to distinguish which emotion is what and how to isolate whatever she is feeling and focus on why it's there. </p><p>Weird things going on in her head are starting to unfold with the support and help she is receiving here. Something Hope thought would never happen. It is strange, she hated it here and now she wishes to never leave. It's only been three weeks and yet, she is anxious about when the time comes to leave. </p><p>"Hope?" The young nurse enters her room like a ninja, silent and stalkerish. "I wanted to talk to you."</p><p>"Alright, is everything okay?" She asks, nervous about what she did this time.</p><p>"Josie Saltzman, you know her?" The girl asks.</p><p>Hope smiles to herself. "Yea, what about her?"</p><p>"Oh nothing, I was a student of her fathers years back."</p><p>Hope has a feeling she's here this late for ulterior motives. "Why are you asking?"</p><p>"Oh no reason, just curious about how his daughter turned out to be a kind young woman filled with hope and honesty. She is the one who turned you in right?" The girl asks.</p><p>"I wouldn't say turned in, but yea, she's the one who has been trying to help me."</p><p>"I still don't see how she's Alaric's child." </p><p>"Oh so you haven't met Lizzie yet have you?" Hope jokes.</p><p>"I can only imagine she's like her mom, snarky with a diva attitude?" The woman smiles at Hope.</p><p>"Wow. Spot on." </p><p>"Well, get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning, goodnight Hope."</p><p>"Night, Elena."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry I'm not very good at writing. Planning on making this a multi chapter story. Don't be afraid to ask questions or comments or whatever you feel like doing. Thank you, until next time!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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